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IntenseMagic

IntenseMagic

Some grannies cuss a lot. I'm some grannies.
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Feb 28, 2012
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So, Timmi @bbymks5 posted in my last space thread saying that when she read the title she thought we were going to be asked about our own personal space and I told her I'd save that for another day...and here we are!

I love people and am pretty outgoing...I'll talk to most anyone, anywhere, anytime. But ummm please don't get in my personal space :giggle

personal-space.gif


I give out plenty of hugs and always snuggled my kids, but ahhhh I just can't take it when someone stands or sits too close to me for very long! My go-to line is always "You're in my bubble!" I also have one particular co-worker who, when she talks to me, gets literally inches from my face and I'm all like

Too-close.gif


and depending on my mood I might be thinking

image


So how about you? Is personal space an issue for you or are you ok with people being really close?
 
I still remember a story we were told at a management training event on International Business. The session was on cultural differences and how that can affect presentation of information for marketing and business relations etc. He told us about the "Diplomat Dance". He said you will see it at every diplomatic reception with people from the East and the West. They circle round the room, with the Westerner walking backwards and the Easterner walking forwards. It's all to do with personal space. The West diplomat feels the other person is too close and backs away. The East person feels like the other is too far away and moves closer.

I'm autistic, so I need quite a bit of personal space, possibly more than would be considered culturally normal in the UK.
 
honestly it depends who it is my family and close friends no issues. But people I don’t know well or strangers NO THANK YOU. People seem to think I’m open to hugs and I hate being touched unless I know you well so that’s let to some funny and awkward situations.

I was terrible when pregnant and would gently push people away if they touched me. And I baby wore a lot so if I had him in the carrier same thing.

Let’s just say some days at Disney we’re a struggle for me.
 
It's usually not something I think about, so I guess with people I know, they can get as close as they want. I do love hugs, though I'm not good at initiating them.

However, occasionally a stranger will stand too close and I find myself thinking, whoa, too close, and I back up a step.
 
I'm definitely a hugger, but I take queues from people to make sure they are not uncomfortable.

However - PLEASE don't stand too close to me any other time. Lol. I only buy concert seats in the nosebleeds because I can't stand the thought of being surrounded by a bunch of strangers shoulder to shoulder, dancing & brushing up against me. Gah. I don't like being crowded or in crowds, so I try to shop at non-peak times. I will absolutely back away if someone stands to close to me when we are talking, etc...and will not feel bad about it. If they keep trying to get closer, I will continue to back up. And likely say something after a couple times. Other than a hug...I need my bubble.
 
I'm dying...dead Jan @IntenseMagic!! Those gifs explain me ohhhhh so well LOL!! I'm a social introvert which already comes with a lot of contradictions. In person I'm social on my terms unless I really, really like you, then I'll be social on your terms as well; but most of the time I'd prefer my personal space to remain just that. This was really hard for my hubby to learn and respect, now if he wants a hug, he will announce "here comes the perv" to break the ice and warn me in a funny way that he's going to hug me. And as much as I hate to admit it, my youngest daughter is the only one I will allow to invade my personal space, any time, any place; I think it's because she's gentile and doesn't linger like my other girls who would basically become lap dogs if I allowed it LOL!

This is interesting, and I never really thought of the cultural differences, but it makes total sense when broken down like this!

Angela Toucan said:
I still remember a story we were told at a management training event on International Business. The session was on cultural differences and how that can affect presentation of information for marketing and business relations etc. He told us about the "Diplomat Dance". He said you will see it at every diplomatic reception with people from the East and the West. They circle round the room, with the Westerner walking backwards and the Easterner walking forwards. It's all to do with personal space. The West diplomat feels the other person is too close and backs away. The East person feels like the other is too far away and moves closer.

I'm autistic, so I need quite a bit of personal space, possibly more than would be considered culturally normal in the UK.
Click to expand...

I was an awful pregnant person too! I remember when DH and I were at Lowe's looking at the entire row of light bulbs and some lady wanted to get handsy with my belly, I backed away and kind of turned my body, she came in again so I asked her what she thought she was doing and if she though I was part of a petting zoo exhibit :( not a proud moment, but in that moment I couldn't find the right words to get my point across. DH was so embarrassed and apologized.

Jems said:
I was terrible when pregnant and would gently push people away if they touched me. And I baby wore a lot so if I had him in the carrier same thing.

Let’s just say some days at Disney we’re a struggle for me.
Click to expand...

This is so me at the movie theater!! I sit in the very back, in the middle with a daughter on each side so I don't have to sit next to a stranger :lol

lealawson said:
I'm definitely a hugger, but I take queues from people to make sure they are not uncomfortable.

However - PLEASE don't stand too close to me any other time. Lol. I only buy concert seats in the nosebleeds because I can't stand the thought of being surrounded by a bunch of strangers shoulder to shoulder, dancing & brushing up against me. Gah. I don't like being crowded or in crowds, so I try to shop at non-peak times. I will absolutely back away if someone stands to close to me when we are talking, etc...and will not feel bad about it. If they keep trying to get closer, I will continue to back up. And likely say something after a couple times. Other than a hug...I need my bubble.
Click to expand...
 
I need more personal space than others too! Some people just don't pick up on social cues either.
In societies were people live much nearer to each other their sense of personal space differs widely. Only my people are allowed to touch and hug and even then I may need to escape if there are too many people and too much hugging etc.
 
Angela Toucan said:
I still remember a story we were told at a management training event on International Business. The session was on cultural differences and how that can affect presentation of information for marketing and business relations etc. He told us about the "Diplomat Dance". He said you will see it at every diplomatic reception with people from the East and the West. They circle round the room, with the Westerner walking backwards and the Easterner walking forwards. It's all to do with personal space. The West diplomat feels the other person is too close and backs away. The East person feels like the other is too far away and moves closer.

I'm autistic, so I need quite a bit of personal space, possibly more than would be considered culturally normal in the UK.
Click to expand...

That "Diplomat Dance" is really interesting!

Jems said:
honestly it depends who it is my family and close friends no issues. But people I don’t know well or strangers NO THANK YOU. People seem to think I’m open to hugs and I hate being touched unless I know you well so that’s let to some funny and awkward situations.

I was terrible when pregnant and would gently push people away if they touched me. And I baby wore a lot so if I had him in the carrier same thing.

Let’s just say some days at Disney we’re a struggle for me.
Click to expand...

Anywhere crowded like Disney is a struggle for me! I don't do crowds well at all!


michelepixels said:
It's usually not something I think about, so I guess with people I know, they can get as close as they want. I do love hugs, though I'm not good at initiating them.

However, occasionally a stranger will stand too close and I find myself thinking, whoa, too close, and I back up a step.
Click to expand...

I'm not good at initiating hugs either. I will gladly give them to friends, but I'm not typically the one to initiate.

lealawson said:
I'm definitely a hugger, but I take queues from people to make sure they are not uncomfortable.

However - PLEASE don't stand too close to me any other time. Lol. I only buy concert seats in the nosebleeds because I can't stand the thought of being surrounded by a bunch of strangers shoulder to shoulder, dancing & brushing up against me. Gah. I don't like being crowded or in crowds, so I try to shop at non-peak times. I will absolutely back away if someone stands to close to me when we are talking, etc...and will not feel bad about it. If they keep trying to get closer, I will continue to back up. And likely say something after a couple times. Other than a hug...I need my bubble.
Click to expand...

Same with the crowds!! I need my bubble as well!!

kayjaydo said:
dirtydancing-loverboy-space.gif

Always think of Dirty Dancing and their dance space...

For me it just depends who is getting too close, but even my son does it, and on some days I get quite annoyed about it...
Click to expand...

Yep, I get annoyed with my kiddo, too. I don't mind random hugs, but he has this thing sometimes about having to be right in my face to talk to me...I just say "out of my bubble". Love that movie!! It was filmed like 40 minutes from me and I even know a few of the people who are extras :)

bbymks5 said:
I'm dying...dead Jan @IntenseMagic!! Those gifs explain me ohhhhh so well LOL!! I'm a social introvert which already comes with a lot of contradictions. In person I'm social on my terms unless I really, really like you, then I'll be social on your terms as well; but most of the time I'd prefer my personal space to remain just that. This was really hard for my hubby to learn and respect, now if he wants a hug, he will announce "here comes the perv" to break the ice and warn me in a funny way that he's going to hug me. And as much as I hate to admit it, my youngest daughter is the only one I will allow to invade my personal space, any time, any place; I think it's because she's gentile and doesn't linger like my other girls who would basically become lap dogs if I allowed it LOL!
Click to expand...

Haha I love that "here comes the perv"!

Eyeore said:
I need more personal space than others too! Some people just don't pick up on social cues either.
In societies were people live much nearer to each other their sense of personal space differs widely. Only my people are allowed to touch and hug and even then I may need to escape if there are too many people and too much hugging etc.
Click to expand...

I have one friend who is a major hugger and she gets the cues, but just doesn't care lol. She will say, "I know you don't like people in your space, but I going to get in there anyway".
 
it only makes me uncomfortable if I am in a place with people I do not know.
 
I can deal with crowds - heck, I commuted to NYC for awhile from Jersey - the trains were always crowded - but the Path into WTC was literally the worst! There's really no such thing as personal space on the Path or city subways during rush hour. And Jersey anymore is so ultra crowded - whenever I visit family, I'm amazed at the sheer amount of people and cars in that tiny state!

But ...even though I can deal, I really do prefer my personal space. I do not like close talkers at all. Eww. And I hate when people stand on top of you in line. I'm like (in my head) ... "it doesn't make your turn come any faster ... so back up!"

LOL @bbymks5 and your zoo exhibit pregnancy story. That is pretty funny! But honestly - you don't touch strangers bellies. Being pregant doesn't mean you are open season for petting. :giggle

With my kids though - I am OK with all and any amount of closeness and personal space invasions -both then and now. I really miss the days of them being in my personal space. My Emma would suck her thumb and twirl my hair all the time. I'd give anything for some of that right now! Now it's more like they are like "outta here" - to me! If you watch The Goldbergs - they call me their "smother" :(
 
I don't have personal space when it comes to my people. But I've very awkward with others. Like if you get too close behind me in line, I'm likely to step back and step on your toes on purpose. Disney lines don't bug me though, unless you are breathing down my neck!
So, I don't know that I have a personal space answer. I have an emotional space. I will avoid you {meaning anyone, including my people} if feel like I'm going to cry. Especially ugly cry. Or if I'm really mad! Then only the dog is allowed in my space.
 
So, it depends on where I am & what I'm doing.
In general, I do very well on my own in my own personal space. I'm most comfortable in a corner or small space surrounded by my stuff. I have T-Rex arms, so stuff needs to be close. I like quiet. I like being by myself.
But, I've been a medical assistant for nearly 20 years. I am a hand holder. I have no problem hugging strangers. I assisted in minor surgery for so long. The doctor & I would work in tandem & I never minded. He cut, I blotted. He stitched, I cut. That's pretty much as close as the patient, doctor, & assistant can get.
 
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