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So today pretty much sucked.

Karah

Karah

Karah
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Jul 9, 2008
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My sweet 8 year old baby boy was suspended from school for tomorrow. :cry

A little girl was being mean to my niece, so my niece went and found Ryan and told him so he tried to tell the other girl to be nice but they were yelling and screaming at each other and he got overly frustrated so he just yelled at the girl that if she didn't stop being mean to his cousin then he was going to beat her up! Yikes.

Our school has a zero tolerance policy when there are threats for bodily harm. It was an automatic one day at home suspension.

So I'm super proud of him for standing up for his cousin, but SUPER disappointed in the way he went about it. And of course I walked by the mom of the little girl today and she was giving me the stink eye. *sigh*

So now I don't know what to do with him tomorrow! I don't want to reward him by letting him play games/watch tv, but I also don't want him bored out of his mind all day! Being a mom is rough sometimes.
 
that does suck. I had the same sort of thing happen with my son. When he was young he always looked out for his younger sister and when this kid was being to her, my son punched him in the tummy!!!! NOT COOL. I was proud of him but furious at the same time. My son & the boy actually became very good friends. He apologized to the boy and I explained the situation and it all turned out fine. But i did make him write a letter about how sorry he was and how he could have handled it better and he had to hand deliver to the boy's mom.
 
awww, good for him for sticking up for his cousin though!!!

It's hard being mom, but it's also hard being kids these days!
 
That is a tough situation. Being a homeschooler, I'd say that I would probably have him do some school work at home, ya know? It would keep him busy, but also not be games/rewards. Print off a math worksheet, have him practice his cursive, read, or write something. I'd be the same as you though - proud that he's stand up for her, but also disappointed.
 
kelley said:
That is a tough situation. Being a homeschooler, I'd say that I would probably have him do some school work at home, ya know? It would keep him busy, but also not be games/rewards. Print off a math worksheet, have him practice his cursive, read, or write something. I'd be the same as you though - proud that he's stand up for her, but also disappointed.
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:like
 
That IS tough! Poor boy! His emotions must have gotten the best of him! Good luck Mom!
 
{{hugs}} I think he was just trying to be a good cousin, but yeah, probably not the best thing to say. Lesson learned. I think schoolwork and chores for tomorrow would be fine. Maybe a lunch time trip out for an ice cream or something just to show you know his heart was in the right place.
 
That's super tough. What a kid for sticking up for her! You hate to punish him for that!!!
 
I guess if he was my kid I wouldn't be too bummed out because he didn't initiate anything. Yes, the wording of his response was too strong in the end but if that little girl hadn't started being mean, none of this would have happened. What's his response in all of this? Is he feeling remorse about saying that to the girl or is he feeling like it's not fair? I too think it was great that he tried to help his cousin and that she took the initiative to get help. What a stinky situation. At least you can rest easy knowing that your son was at least trying to be noble. That other girl's mom has to live with the fact that she's got a kid who's mean to others. She should go find a mirror and give herself stink eye.
p.s. I love Laura's idea of a "combination" consequence to match the offense. Schoolwork + ice cream = I'm disappointed but I still love you
 
Oh, Karah...I am sorry that is just so hard!!

Some good ideas in this thread though.
 
Oh man Karah - not the call you wanted to get today I am sure. Hugs. The emotional hardship of being a parent is overwhelming at times, and sometimes finding the right words in these situations can be so tough. He was doing what he thought was right when being asked by a cousin to help out. Love others' suggestions about doing some schoolwork since he will be missing school, and then maybe a treat as well so he feels the love!
 
So hard...many good tips here. If he is looking at how he could have spoken differently and using this as a learning experience rather than blaming it all on school etc, then I think the compromise is a great idea. I know we have required an apology letter from our son about how he would act if given the opportunity of a do-over for this situation...if appropriate addressed to the girl involved and/or teacher/principal. He did not have to accept full blame, but explain his reaction and explain how he was wrong, explain what he was intending to say/do (the message he wanted to get across)... it went miles in solidifying the learning by having to think it all through and think about it from different perspectives (in your case: girl bully/teacher/principal/parent of child threatened/cousin).
 
awww... (((HUGS)))

lmccandless said:
{{hugs}} I think he was just trying to be a good cousin, but yeah, probably not the best thing to say. Lesson learned. I think schoolwork and chores for tomorrow would be fine. Maybe a lunch time trip out for an ice cream or something just to show you know his heart was in the right place.
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I really like this idea!
 
yellowpeep said:
I guess if he was my kid I wouldn't be too bummed out because he didn't initiate anything. Yes, the wording of his response was too strong in the end but if that little girl hadn't started being mean, none of this would have happened. What's his response in all of this? Is he feeling remorse about saying that to the girl or is he feeling like it's not fair? I too think it was great that he tried to help his cousin and that she took the initiative to get help. What a stinky situation. At least you can rest easy knowing that your son was at least trying to be noble. That other girl's mom has to live with the fact that she's got a kid who's mean to others. She should go find a mirror and give herself stink eye.
p.s. I love Laura's idea of a "combination" consequence to match the offense. Schoolwork + ice cream = I'm disappointed but I still love you
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I like the distinction between defending her as opposed to initiating it.
 
Aw, Karah, that is rough. I don't have anything to add to the wonderful advice already given, so I'll just send some big (((hugs))) for both of you. :hug
 
I also don't have anything to add but sending you hugs Karah. Being a mom is the tougher job in the world.
 
Thanks, everyone. I'm feeling much better about things now that it's had a chance to marinate for the afternoon/evening. I had actually already told him that he'd have to write an apology letter, but I'm totally using your ideas for chores/schoolwork for tomorrow. With a little treat in there too. And in a way, I'm kind of glad this happened because it brought to light how mean this little girl has been to my niece. She hadn't said a WORD to my SIL about what was going on but after this happened and my SIL talked with her about it, she found out that this little girl has been bullying her for a few weeks now and nobody has done anything about it (except for my little man). So it prompted some good conversations about bullying and sticking up for yourself and not letting other kids tell you what to do.
 
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