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Kids...pets...& death....

Brynn Marie

Brynn Marie

Brynn Marie
Joined
Feb 2, 2008
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Ok I'll start with apologizing for being the Debbie Downer of the day......

What's the best way to explain to kids about death??

My dog passed away last night...he is the dog that the kids were closest too because he was the smallest and the dog that was inside most.

The kids don't know yet...he passed in his sleep while he was in his kennel, so I covered it up, kept the kids out of my room and once I got back from taking Bubba to school I moved him out to the garage until DH gets home.

Moo I don't think will notice during the day because Roscoe (our dog) spent most of the day outside with the bigger dogs...but once Bubba gets home, I know he will notice....and I have no idea what to tell them...we are spiritual but not big Church people....DH was raised in the bible belt so I guess it's his own form of rebellion not going and I struggled with my religion after my Mom died....so the kids haven't been exposed to too much religion/church....we pretty much only go when we are back in GA visiting Geoff's family.
 
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:heartslub So sorry for your loss Brynn! I would just speak from your heart and be honest about it. Let them know that everything eventually dies but goes to a good place. :hug
 
We had to deal with this about two years ago with our cat. When we woke up one morning she was dragging her legs behind her and panting heavily. Apparently she had a blot clot and we had to put her down. The kids saw her like that in the morning so all day at work I was sick thinking about how to explain he "putting her to sleep" part and then the death.

I found that just treat it like a band aide approach works best. Just dive in and tell them the truth right away. I assume he was an older dog? Just tell them that he lived a good long life and that now he is happy and playing in puppy heaven. I am a church goer, but I don't know exactly what he stance is on pets going to heaven or not. So, I was honest with my kids about that too. I said I didn't know exactly what place they go, because they wanted to know if they'd see their kitty again. So I told them that Heaven is a more wonderful place than we can imagine and that god will take such good care of us that we won't be sad or miss anything that we need.

I'm really sorry for your loss. Your kids will probably cry and be sad, but they are resilient and will probably adjust and get over it sooner than you will. Give 'em lots of hugs.
 
Brandi said:
:heartslub So sorry for your loss Brynn! I would just speak from your heart and be honest about it. Let them know that everything eventually dies but goes to a good place. :hug
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^this.
We've had 2 dogs die since the boys have been old enough to actually get that "Hey, our dog is gone!" The first time it was an out of the blue accident, and we just told them the truth. A bad accident had happened to the dog and that she died and had gone to Heaven. The second time we got a dog that we were told was only 2 from an animal shelter. Yeah turns out she was more like 6 and had cancer. We didn't even have her a year, but she was a really sweet cuddly dog, the boys loved her. By the time we realized just how sick she was it was too late to do anything. This death was actually a little easier to explain though since the boys knew she had been so sick.

Of course, now they freak out any time our dog we have now seems the least bit under the weather.
 
i agree with the band aid approach.
just tell them.
give lots of loves. look a pictures. talk about things you did with him.
don't sugar coat anything.
just say it like it is.

i truly believe we will see loved ones after this life.
even our beloved animals.
maybe they can find comfort in that.

so sorry for you loss.
 
I'm so sorry for your loss, Brynn :( I don't have any experience with this but I think that a straightforward approach would be best. Tell them what happened, let them (well, mostly Seth probably) ask questions and do your best to answer any questions he may have. Good luck, sweetie. *hugs*
 
purpleplasticpurse said:
{{{hugs}}} how old are your kiddos?
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Almost 5 and 2.5

Thanks Ladies :) I realized that because My mom & Geoff's Dad both passed before the kids were born so we have never really had a where is heaven talk with Seth...we have just always said they are angels not really explaining more...so I think we will sit down with them tonight and tell them and let them ask any questions.
 
Oh I'm sorry for your loss! I know what a big part of a family dogs are!
 
I'm so sorry! Losing a pet is always so difficult for the whole family....

I agree with the others, telling the truth is the best way to go about it. My boys have had practice with their fish so they understand... but if something ever happens to our dog, I know it will still be difficult to understand. You guys are in my thoughts. xox
 
I am SO sorry Brynn. My heart is breaking for you and your family right now. I agree with everyone else that honesty is the best approach. Praying for strength and comfort for you and the kiddos. xoxo
 
Im sorry for your loss. (((hugs))) I agree with all the girls too.., Honestly would be the best approach.
 
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So sorry to hear about your loss. I have 4 year old twin boys and their grandpa's dog died a few months ago. We were very honest about the death and that eventually we all die. I also hadn't really talked about heaven before with them and took the opportunity to do so. Granted, the dog wasn't theirs, but we dog sat regularly and they took the news fine. They did make a few interesting comments about death for about a month after that, but all healthy curiosity on their part.
 
Brynn, I am so sad for your loss. I hope you are doing OK...it is incredibly hard to say goodbye to a pet. I am sure you will do a great job of handling it with the kiddos.

This is more for you, but this is the best thing I've read about losing a dog.
http://www.petloss.com/rainbowbridge.htm
 
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