saying goodbye | pad patter 8.28.18

[keepscrappin]

Our dd does an excellent job of not putting me in the position of being the mom. We pitch in and help out, but she doesn't like to even ask to pick him up after school, etc. We're happy to help out if she us running late, etc., but she's very aware of the fact that he's her child and her responsibility. So yes, I still get to be the grandma.

That's wonderful! You get to be the grandma and have your grandson close by... win, win! YAY!

 

[bestcee]

If you're lucky - they come back as adults.

My parents say this sarcastically now....
Oldest (Me) only came back the summer after my first year of college. Second - boomerang. He's been out and back so many times! Third - Same as me. Fourth - gone 1 semester, then back for a year, then gone for good. Fifth - boomerang. I'm not sure how many times she's been in and out? Right now she's in, with her baby girl to boot. Sixth - is out, but just lost his job, so might be back. Seventh, Eighth, Ninth - Haven't moved out yet (All high school or younger). I think my parents would be thrilled to have all the adult children out for once!

And, for me, by the time my youngest is out of the house and off to college or on his own, I will have been raising children for going on 35 years or more

LOL! My mom says similar things. If the youngest leaves at 18, she'll have been raising kids for 51 years!!

 

[bestcee]

I love him with all my heart, he is amazing, but I told her that it kind of ruined the whole "spoil him and give him back" goodness of being a grandma!!

This is my mom's problem. She totally spoils my son because he's the only one she's never seriously babysat or had live with her. She says he's the only one of 7 that feels like only a grandkid. Possible she spoils him when she sees him because he's also the only one who doesn't live in town too!
Right now, she watches my niece on a regular basis, and my niece lives with her. That makes it hard to take off the "Nana" hat.

 

[jenn mccabe]

I think that's what got me as well when we dropped off our son at college on Sunday. That knowing that from that point forward, our relationship would never be the same again and that he, more than likely, wouldn't ever "live" in our house again. He even switched rooms with his sister a week or so before he left... so where his stuff is right now, isn't even his room really. I just have this dull ache that I can't shake that he's 18, living in another state, and the decisions he makes (good or bad) are his own now.



Oh my... that would have had my stomach in knots! So glad you got your letter!



Where in Chicago? You're more than welcome to stay here if you want to do a college visit

Agree with all of your thoughts /feelings. So hard.
She's looking at the top 20 film school in the country. There are 2 in Chicago that she may be interested in - but I admit they are not high on her list either. De Paul U and Columbia College (the last I hear is more of a commuter college - I don't want that for her though). But we are researching and looking at everything bc Film school is competitive and expensive. If we go to check those out I will definitely let you know Tracie. Thank you so much for that sweet offer, you are awesome. And hugs for you for what you are going through mama!

 

[tkradtke]

There are 2 in Chicago that she may be interested in - but I admit they are not high on her list either. De Paul U and Columbia College

I don't know a ton about Columbia itself... although we've had a lot of interaction with Columbia students over the years (Clara's dance instructors and Graham was in several student productions and films when he was acting). It definitely doesn't have that typical college campus feel though.

But I know a bit more about DePaul as it's within walking distance from our house! In fact, Clara goes to DePaul College Prep high school and they are pretty intertwined. Let me know if you want any specific info about the school.... and we would take good care of your daughter if she wanted to make a solo trip to see the campus!

 

[Tree City]

LOL! My mom says similar things. If the youngest leaves at 18, she'll have been raising kids for 51 years!!

 

[jenn mccabe]

I don't know a ton about Columbia itself... although we've had a lot of interaction with Columbia students over the years (Clara's dance instructors and Graham was in several student productions and films when he was acting). It definitely doesn't have that typical college campus feel though.

But I know a bit more about DePaul as it's within walking distance from our house! In fact, Clara goes to DePaul College Prep high school and they are pretty intertwined. Let me know if you want any specific info about the school.... and we would take good care of your daughter if she wanted to make a solo trip to see the campus!

I will see if she has any specific questions. The school we visited today is a no go. I can't see her liking Columbia after today's visit. De Paul I don't know too much about yet - but off the top of my head my questions are (not sure you can answer them though) do know anything about how many film students apply and how many are accepted? Do the HS students get preferential treatment then - since they are tied in? What's the campus like?

 

[keepscrappin]

My parents say this sarcastically now....
Oldest (Me) only came back the summer after my first year of college. Second - boomerang. He's been out and back so many times! Third - Same as me. Fourth - gone 1 semester, then back for a year, then gone for good. Fifth - boomerang. I'm not sure how many times she's been in and out? Right now she's in, with her baby girl to boot. Sixth - is out, but just lost his job, so might be back. Seventh, Eighth, Ninth - Haven't moved out yet (All high school or younger). I think my parents would be thrilled to have all the adult children out for once!


LOL! My mom says similar things. If the youngest leaves at 18, she'll have been raising kids for 51 years!!

Your poor mother! 51 years of raising kids... I'm exhausted just reading it!

 

[tkradtke]

do know anything about how many film students apply and how many are accepted?

No clue on this one.

Do the HS students get preferential treatment then - since they are tied in?

Yes, somewhat... but her school is small and very few end up going to DePaul. Clara isn't even considering DePaul because going there wouldn't be enough change for her, and many of her classmates feel the same way.

What's the campus like?

There are two campuses... we live by the main campus in Lincoln Park. It's a cute urban campus in a very cool neighborhood. It's kind of tucked away from the main streets so you don't exactly notice it at first... as the school grows, it is beginning to expand out into the neighborhood. The downtown campus is VERY urban and doesn't have that college feel exactly.... but it is still really cool as the dorms and classrooms are in high rise buildings along Wabash. There may be shuttles between the campuses... but honestly with both of them being located right on the el line (the tracks run through the main campus) it's super easy to get from one to the other.

DePaul doesn't offer all sports, but there's enough to feel like a regular college experience, if that's what she's looking for. Columbia is a good school... but it is truly an arts school with none of the usual college stuff.

 

[kimingvtx]

I cried every time I dropped my children off at college. They are now adults and living their own lives. When they come to visit, I try very hard to not cry as they drive away....at least until I get back in the house. Now I understand why it made my mom so sad to see me drive away even though I visited every few months. I love them, I love that they are great adults, I'm glad that I'm done with the day to day raising of kids, but I still miss them sometimes.

 

[jenn mccabe]

Aww Kim I think that will be me too! @kimingvtx
and thank you for the info @tkradtke That helps!

 

[Beckie]

oh you guys, man. My oldest is only 13 (youngest 11), but I just love them so much and who they are. I genuinely enjoy spending time with them and hearing about their days. They are becoming such cool "people". Seems like a cruel, ironic twist in life that just when the parenting payoff starts they move out.

My favorite wall art in my house says "two things we must give our children: roots and wings". I cried when I bought it just thinking about how much I "feel" that. We are already grooming our kids to go out of state to college. I think it's so important for them - to live away, to face hardships and come out on the other side knowing they can manage them. I will be a hot mess when that time comes, but right now while I'm thinking clearly I know it's the best thing for them - I want them to fly .

 

[LeeAndra]

Generally I get overwhelmed emotionally when it comes to 'big' things like goodbyes so I freeze up and just get through. I process (and cry) later by myself.

When we moved cross-country 3 years ago, my ILs bawled as we drove away & I was thinking about how far to drive & how to keep my son occupied so I didn't shed a tear. Repeat when my mother drove with us and then had to drive back -- she was waterworks and I was worried about how to get around this new city we were living in, how to enroll my daughter in school, etc. My brain knows it should distract me vs. letting me blow up emotionally.

I happy cry (or at least tear up) almost every day (soldier homecoming videos, Ellen giving away money on her show, certain commercials, etc.) but I hate, hate, hate sad crying in front of other people so that's part of it, too.

My kids are only 9 & 4 so thinking about them leaving the nest is not really on my radar. I finally got the littlest off to school just a couple of weeks ago.