Why Didn't I See It Coming

Hey!! Collecting memes & quotes is therapeutic... so collect away! I love your journaling and how brave to be so heartfelt. I feel you, I was married nearly 20 years when I discovered my husband was a closeted gay man and he'd been having trysts with other men most of our marriage and we had 5 children together!! We went thru a very traumatic divorce / custody battle and now the kids are older, my youngest twins just turned 18, so they will be heading off to college soon. He's out of the closet now, but the hole he carved out of my heart is huge (and he put the pieces into a meat grinder) and it still hurts, it's been 4 years for me. He's happily living with his boyfriend in a million dollar house and like you my kids prefer to be over there because it's such a fancy nice house. I have a more modest house. It's a huge elephant in the room when ever we get together for any reason. I do appreciate my children over the years sympathizing with how much he destroyed my life. They can't stand his boyfriend, which secretly makes me happy - and guilty, but it is what it is. I want to forgive him, sometimes I think I have but mostly I give it to God & ask God to do for me what I can't do for myself. I've never been interested in trying to meet anyone special either, I can't imagine ever trusting another man in that way, so I've resigned myself to become a happy self actualized spinster - not there yet, but on my way. Hang in there, life can be messy and remember to be gentle with yourself!

@myka I have a church acquaintance who went through what you did, but she, like so many other people I know, never seemed to have an issue with forgiveness or "getting over it" or whatever you want to call it. She and her ex and his partner get along and all. I don't get it. My youngest was just 8 when he left, so at first, I just didn't want to traipse a bunch of men through our lives. Now, it's more a matter of opportunity. I think I'd go on a date, but no one has ever asked, and I really don't know any single men my age. So, yes, to self-actualized spinsterhood! It's where me and my roommate are at. Her ex REALLY did her wrong! Thanks so much for responding! I do love collecting memes and quotes!

It's crazy how much someone who supposedly loves us can hurt us so badly. I'm sorry you have had to deal with this. I'm also amazed that you aren't very bitter - you must be a strong person which I admire. Your page is gorgeous and I'm so thankful you played along with this challenge. I hope your journaling helped you in some way!