As I mentioned before- I could make a book of at least 200 pages with this subject, but am late as is goes- There have been many things that shaped me, maybe 4 HUGE turning points in my life, but being a mum was the most inmportant of al, in which without any effort I turned my life around big time- On this subject I can fill so many pages it could give way to a book, one that I have been many times suggested I should write...it seems like a good idea at times,and then there are so many things that keep telling me not. I have no regrets- Have done some (ok,quiet a lot) stuff that I'm not proud of but as I said,no regrets, as if I didn't do all, I wouldn't be who I am today . So many things can change so very radically in life even in adulthood, so much that the one turning point in my life was maternity & motherhood. The one issue I used to shout to all who wanted to hear and even those who didn't - I swore until aged 34 I wouldn't ever want to have children of my own... that was the very big turning point in my life- I am not one who thinks women should have children to be full-filled,, I know there are many many things in life on the achievement count. But that day on the beach in New Quay - north of Wales- that beautiful sandy beach in that crazy trip Andy took me around his most loved childhood places... that day in which I played with a little girl called Amberley who looked at lot like Sarita did aged two, that day in which I decided I did want to have children after all- I think pretty much divides my life in two- I can subdivide both the before & after, but nothing has influenced me and change my life as my pregnancy & Sarita did. I could go on for ages & try explain but I don't think it can be done with words- I read once in someone's LO something that pretty much sums it all: The day Sarita was born & I wouldn't let them put her in the cot at night, when with all that un-descrivable, mad happiness I looked at watching her and in her eyes.... I saw the eyes of God- I still can see that moment in my mind, as clear as if it was a video, still can recall that amazing feeling, still have it sometimes when I see her asleep, or when chooses to curl up in the sofa with me to get huggs & kisses, when I see her offering help to people in need in places even the supermarket, when I see the pride in her teachers or employers eyes, when I see the success in studies or her job choices, and, of course, when I see her on stage every time she performs. My pregnancy with her was beyond amazing but I remember the night before, in the pub across the road from UCH Huntley Street, with Andy after the check up for the morning after as I had a caesarian section because of my congenital issues, I remember being scared about the actual child outside my womb.... I had seen lots of post natal depression as I was working at the hospital at the time, dismissed it as I just did not think it was something that could happen to me, but remember clearly being scared and even saying to Andy: what about if the bond doesn't happen? He, who was such an amazing man at the time, said to forget about it, we would get through to it together if it did happen. To this day, there is not a single day of my life I regret. Had many great times, as many as bad ones but all I lived has made me who I am- but being a mother defined the turning point- that where I became a better daughter & friend, that where so much changed me into a much better person than I ever was.... Kits (will come link later but I want to try make another challenge) Quirky Heart: Every Day Bouquet, Life is Good & Word Labels- Pink Reptile Designs Yo Yos, Simple Things,PRD & Allison Pennington Mars & Venus,Kate Hadfield Flora Joodles, HGD by Laurie Ann Always & Forever- Allison Pennington Everybody Dance Now- M3 Monthly Subscription August kit- Jiournaling font is Pea Ephieboo TFL!!!
