MOC11 January 10: Photos + Words

I thought this was going to be hard when I started but the words just poured out of me, so it must have been something I need to say. Thanks for the chance to get this said.
Journaling:
Looking back at old photos from when the girls were teens I swear I can see the stress and strain in my eyes. I had the girls in my thirties so as they hit their teenage years, I hit the change. Although at the time, I didn’t know that it was the start of the dreaded menopause. All I knew was that I was stressed, angry and sleepless so many days, and so many nights. At one point I had asked my GP, who felt I was just stressed and depressed, but he didn’t mention the chance of menopause to me so I was flying blind. It took a good 5 years of crazy mood swings and tears before hot flushes started and I was able to add two and two together to come up with the answer I needed. I look back and I can see how irrational I was, I argued about pretty much anything, I cried over pretty much everything, and I swear I made my girls lives a hassle with all the swinging moods. It wasn’t a great combination during those years in my house if I’m honest, with teen hormones and menopausal hormones flying, not even a little bit. The three of us seemed to rub each other up the wrong way at least once a week resulting in yelling and tears. Of course, not every day was a nightmare hellscape, it was just that when things went wrong, or fights were had, they escalated quickly. But luckily for me I raised good kids, compassionate kids, kids who can look back at that wild time in our lives, where Mum went a little bit nuts, and still love me. Looking back I wish I had known that it was pretty normal, and that I could have kept pressuring my GP to get me answers. Now that I am on the other side of all the hormonal mood swings and tears (I just have to get rid of these darn hot flushes) I can see things so much clearer now, and I wish I could give past me a big ‘ol hug and tell past me that I’ve got this.
Credits:
Silent Battles: Stress - Bundle by Rachel Jefferies