Little Butterfly Wings & Studio Basics Designs - May Messages to My Mom
May 6
was the day I felt the sky fall on me.
I lost then not only a mother, but also my best friend. The person who was always by my side, who offered me love, warmth, kindness, wisdom, joy.
The day before you called me to tell me that you were not feeling well and that you wanted me to take you to the hospital. It's been happening more and more often lately, but that day it was as if you knew that you’ll not come back home. I sat for hours in the hospital lobby, in the emergency room, until they investigated you and took you to the ward. It was late at night and I was very tired. You wanted to get up at the edge of the bed to drink water, you didn't want to, and I was a bit angry at you for not wanting to lie down and try to sleep. We had often gone through similar phases and I didn't understand that now it's something different. The next morning when they called me from the hospital, I was just getting ready to come see you. I felt something break in me and I wanted to scream so the whole world could hear my pain.
You left, and I wasn't there to offer my hand to support you, to wipe your forehead and kiss you, to tell you how much I love you.
I know that the last years have been difficult and our relationship has suffered a lot, I blamed you for many things, but I knew in my soul that everything was a result of a hard and unhappy life. But depression and illness were pulling you farther and farther away from me, and I couldn't stand it.
Forgive me if I was not strong and wise enough to support and help you more! Forgive me for not being there then!
You were the gentlest and kindest mother! You were the funniest and most crazy (in the good way) mother. You were the wisest and most open mother there was.
I remember lot of things, especially during my teenage years. All my friends envied me because you were so open and I could talk to you about anything. They were visiting me and they were always asking you to give them adviceadvice about boys and life, to teach them to dance, and they loved your company and to have fun with a glass of juice, music and laughter.
I remember the two of us playing loud music and dancing around the house like crazy. I remember going to the movies and always ending the evening with a pizza and a caffe frappe. I remember how I nestled in bed on your chest and sat like that, intoxicated by the warmth of your soul. These memories will always remain alive, no one and nothing can take them away from me.
I love you and you will always remain in my soul!
496 Words
