Credits:
Rachel Jefferies |
Silent Battles: Stress
Rachel Jefferies |
I'm Somewhere in Between
Rachel Jefferies |
The Wonder in Everything
Rachel Jefferies |
t is for together
Rachel Jefferies |
Sinopia
Rachel Jefferies |
Trust the Journey: Thrive
Rachel Jefferies |
Pocket Art Signature Kit 7
Memory Pockets Monthly |
Emerge
Hear My Voice |
Learning
Journaling:
Life has a way of challenging every thought that you had about your future and what you would be doing in your life. It was 2012, and I had been married for 15 years and had a 9-year-old daughter. We were supposed to be settled in our home and our lives, but this was going on 3 years of unemployment for my husband. We lost our condo and moved back home to live with my parents. Soon after, my father died unexpectedly, and then after that, our family business closed after 50 years. My Mom had no nest egg and her house went into foreclosure, and the house we all lived in was sold. We had nowhere to go, and finally, we were told that we could move into Michael’s parent’s second bedroom in Las Vegas to get us on our feet. My life was nothing but loss: loss of income, loss of security, loss of my father, and now the loss of my family and California. We left with a small u-haul trailer with what we could fit in it and moved to Las Vegas. Leaving my family was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done, but in the same breath, it was the salvation of my OWN family and myself. Moving away from my family, and specifically, my Mom, helped me to see that I was a competent woman able to take care of things without my family coming to save me. The little girl that was me shown below was the youngest of the family, and I was treated like I couldn’t handle anything, and I couldn’t do things on my own. I believed them. Moving here forced me to take care of my own life, my own daughter, and my husband. There wasn’t a safety net underneath me. If we didn’t have money for food, I had to figure out what to make with what was in the cupboard. I learned how to deal with creditors, and do simple things that I never really learned how to do. As time went on, I realized that I was strong. I was competent, and I could handle adversity and problems in my own way. When all I had was me and Michael, we relied on each other and got through things together. This time would strengthen our relationship when it was tested just a few years later. On Christmas Day of 2015, my Mom, after just being cleared of stage 4 breast and lung cancer, was killed in a car accident. That little girl lost it. Almost completely. I went into a sort of “functional depression” where I would do all I needed to do, but no one really knew how bad off I was. I seemed to be withdrawing and Michael felt as though I was withdrawing from him. I gained a lot of weight and we started fighting. Something we never did. One day I looked in the mirror and hated what and who I saw. Right then and there I decided to reclaim me. I started to exercise and lose weight - cooking healthier meals and drinking water. I started leaving love notes around the house and I noticed Michael was both responding and withdrawing. **redacted for privacy** We now have a home, steady income, stability, friends, a great Church community, and a house full of love and laughter. That little girl below that was me learned that through adversity, you can find your way back home - back to who you were meant to be: A strong, resilient, loving, caring, competent woman living her life for God, happy with her life, enjoying a wonderful fulfilling marriage, and being the best Mom she can be. Oh, and that little girl that was me will be happy to know that she finally learned how to use scissors! I know she despaired of ever learning that!
