MOC 8: Day 17 - Hindsight Is 20/ 20 Journaling Challenge

MOC 8: Day 17 - Hindsight Is 20/ 20 Journaling Challenge
ScrappyHappy82, Jan 19, 2020
*1,018 words*

Journaling reads:

Hindsight is 20/20 is a phrase heard often and it's usually one spoken heavy with regret but in my case it's the opposite. For me, its gratitude for the way life has played out even if I had no idea what was later to come and no control in it. Hindsight lets me see just how blessed I've been!

I had a plan for my life. Or so I thought. Call me young and naive but I actually thought I had a say in how things were going to play out. Turns out life played me instead. But in the best way possible.

I'm going to go way back. All the way back to my early 20's. My high school boyfriend and I had a plan. We were going to get engaged our senior year of college, get married the year after and then start having babies around 27 and have one more a couple years later. Sounds logical, especially considering we'd already been dating for 3 years at this point right? Except that it wasn't because somewhere in between that junior and senior year of college we both changed. Part of me wants to blame it on him, to villainize him, because he broke my cardinal rule -- no smoking. What? No smoking? Surely some people would say that's forgivable or there are far worse things but for me, smoking was the big one. It would change my perception of him completely, cause bitter fights over hygiene, monetary issues, questions of self-worth or respect, etc etc. It would snowball so much it would become an avalanche. I knew this and he knew this so he hid it from me which wasn't that hard to do considering we were a long distance relationship. I wondered but I didn't ask. Maybe I didn't want to know? Yet at the very same time I'm the villain because I was presented the opportunity to travel abroad and I took it and I came back a different person. It was only two weeks but I came back with a desire, no a need, to see the world. The doors had been opened and now I'd seen through my own eyes that so much more than our tiny town lie beyond those city limits. I came back declaring I wanted to go, do, see it all and that I wouldn't be chained down to that tiny town. Not fair at all to the person who had spent the previous 4 years with the understanding that that tiny town would be the place where he settled down and raised his family. So what could we do? We called it quits with a little sadness and a little hopefulness too. Occasionally I still wonder what might have been because surely I loved him and he loved me but we were two selfish young kids and just not meant to be.

Here's where life starts to laugh a little. Those plans that I had? Oh they happened alright. Just not with who I had intended! I wasn't looking for anyone at the moment. I was actually just ending a relationship that I knew wasn't right for me and was looking forward to NOT being in a relationship for a while. When along came Nathan. Handsome, funny, kind-hearted Nathan but I did not want to give him a chance. He asked me out repeatedly until I was so sick of him asking that I gave in! I know now that's not at all who he is so it surprises me so much but he laughs and said he must not have heard the answer "no" because it wasn't what he wanted to hear. I've never been more glad that he went all "creepy-stalker" on me because if he hadn't who knows what life I'd have now!

From day two Nathan moved in with me. It wasn't like we meant for him to move in -- he just came over, stayed over and never left. We spent every waking hour together for two months (we call it turbo dating) and then we got engaged. Like officially, diamond ring on the finger, date set, we're doing this, engaged! To our parents credit, neither of them blinked an eye. They both said they knew their kids and that when you know you know. And we did know. Nathan and I got engaged our senior year of college, got married the year after I graduated college and had our first baby at 26 and the second at days away from 28. So the last part is a little bit off but pretty much everything I had planned with Dan, just that it wasn't him.

If the wedding and baby timeline wasn't enough of a sign that fate has a way of showing up regardless, you'll smile to know that my wanderlust is also satisfied. After our baby was born, Nathan enlisted in the U.S. Army - Active Duty. We weren't thinking of traveling at the time - just that we wanted one of us to raise her, not a daycare. We certainly couldn't survive on just one income so enlisting into the service was our best option. It was hard at first but we don't regret it for a minute. It's been more than 12 years since he enlisted and since then we've lived in 5 states, visited 5 different countries, and travelled to hundreds of locations throughout the U.S. on our adventure. We've "gone, done and seen" everything we possibly can and will continue to do for years to come! My dream is fulfilled and my heart is overflowing with gratitude and love.

But I'm not the only one who got their happily ever after. Years later Dan married a lovely woman and had two little kids of his own too. They live in that tiny town where we grew up tinkering on trucks, ice fishing and enjoying the simple things in life. He's living his dream and I'm living mine. Looking back, I'm so grateful for the way life has turned out and would most assuredly agree that hindsight is 20/20!

Product Credits:

Offline kit and journal cardsby Forever Joy Designs
Frosty Leaves templateby Scrapping With Liz
Pink tulle, "Remember" word art - Notedby Forever Joy Designs
Butterfly - Birds of a Featherby Forever Joy Designs
Golden Arrow - Blessingsby Forever Joy Designs
Pink sequin scatter- Goal Digger by Forever Joy Designs
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    Month of Challenges 8
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