Day 10 - Who's That Girl
- Description
- Unwritten by ForeverJoy Designs
Storyteller April 2019 Stamp style by Just Jaimee
I hardly recognise or even remember the person who is in this photo. Here I am, on my hen night, loving being out with friends, joking, laughing and dancing the night away. Oh and so free from the trials and tribulations that the future me would be experiencing. Dealing with depression from the time I was pregnant with Mia, over twenty years ago; living with a husband who was deceitful and made reckless financial decisions pushing us into bankruptcy; nearly losing our home and having to rely on benefits to live on; getting a life altering medical diagnosis for Mia and battling the education system alongside that; losing loved ones over the years (Harry and my mum); continuing to live with a cheating man for years until eventually we sold the house and separated for good; losing my beloved home of over thirty years, being separated from my children and pets and having to move in with my dad. And being mostly alone through most of this time. If I could go back, I'm not sure how much of this I would be able to (or willing to) change. So much was out of my control. There are two things I would definitely do differently though. Firstly, I would seek help for my depression years before I did, get help in dealing with my emotions and utter anguish. Doing so earlier would have helped me deal with things in a different way. Secondly, and following on from this, I would have treasured my friendships and relationships and not left people behind in my mistaken belief that it would be better for them not to have me in their lives. Doing so would mean that I would still have a social life, friends to confide in and keep my spirits up and people to support me during my darkest days as well as me being around to help them in theirs. I have been blinkered and lonely and that has been the worst of it. I need to be able to confront these failings, to reach out to people I have abandoned and take steps to build and nurture new relationships in the future.