Oh goodness, what a heartfelt page. It is beautiful and heart breaking all at once. The elements you can tell were chosen with great care, they really express the happiness/good times your remember in the journaling but there's still the contradiction of losing a friend.
Oh I am so sorry she ghosted you. I truly am. It sounds like you have an idea of who might have influenced her, but that doesn't make it any easier on you. I truly hope that by writing out your feelings, you can rest easier knowing that you wouldn't have made the choices she made, and that you didn't deserve the choices she made either. Thank you for sharing this story. Hopefully you are as happy as I am that you participated in this challenge!