dotcomkari

Cold Feet

Cold Feet
dotcomkari, May 13, 2022
Description:
DSI: Template Priorities (flipped)

Life Is: Feeling Grateful Bundle by Studio Basic and Little Butterfly Wings

Little Explorer bundle by Little Butterfly Wings

Life Is: Keeping Memories Alive Bundle by Studio Basic and Little Butterfly Wings

Silent Battles: Stress - Bundle by Studio Basic Designs & Rachel Jefferies

Silent Battles: Exhaustion - Bundle by Studio Basic Designs & Rachel Jefferies

Font: Pea Kari (my handwriting)


Journal Reads:
My wedding day is almost here, four months and a few days to be exact! Finally, the day i've waited for over 9 years!
I have already been there and done that. After all this is my second marriage. I should have known all that goes into a wedding by now. Or so you would think? right?
Yeah, I know ..wedding planning is suppose to be fun! and it has been for the most part. But I am starting to wonder how it got to this point. But there's no returning anything, no refunds available and no dramatic running from the altar like they do in movies. Nope, I have to go through with it. I surely worked my butt off enough to pay for everything!
It's not that I don't love my husband-to-be. Cause trust me I do! ..it is just the stress of it all. And even though I have my dress, the venue, the photographer and even the food all set, there is just so much more to do. I am more than stressed. More than tired. I been working on this wedding for over 2 years straight and even though the end is in sight, it just feels if there is not enough time. I am stressing on how I will pay for it all. Stressing on every little last mintue detail.
A part of me just wants to run away and elope. After all my mom keeps telling me not many people are going to show up anyways. As it is my "Second" wedding and not many people care about those. And I don't have that many friends that will want to come. She keeps me doubting the day I imagine.
My first wedding was done the way my parents wanted it. It wasn't want I wanted. It wasn't my dream wedding at all. And that marriage ended in a restraining order and PTSD to last a lifetime.
This time around I want to do it right. I waited years to make sure he was the one. My "soul-mate". And when we finally decided to tie the knot, I wanted that dream wedding. I have been carefully planning every last detail. And my house is full of totes of wedding things. Yet I keep thinking I am forgetting something. Or that maybe just maybe my mother is right and people will not show up and I am doing all this for nothing. For the fantasy I am imagining.
    • bestcee
      Aw, I'm so sorry you are doubting! Just remember - you are doing it for YOU! and your husband to be. But not for anyone else - your mom, your friends, or that nosy neighbor. If it makes you happy - enjoy!
      dotcomkari likes this.
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  • Category:
    Rachel Jefferies
    Uploaded By:
    dotcomkari
    Date:
    May 13, 2022
    View Count:
    78
    Comment Count:
    1

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