MOC 2023 Day 10 Journaling Burred to protect the guilty.
One Little Bird Retrospective
https://the-lilypad.com/store/Retrospective.html
Pieces of journaling:
Lately, whenever I give a talk at church, it seems like my family life growing up comes up. It always makes me reflect. I didn’t have a bad childhood. On the surface, it was pretty good. We had enough to eat, clothes to wear, and adventures. But, as an adult, looking back and talking about my childhood I realize the toxicity that was there. Some of it was subtle, while other bits were more blatant.
There was the sexism. My brother just below me always had more leniency than I did. ... They didn’t understand the consequences the same way I did. ...Bad grades - no extracurriculars was never enforced with my brothers. Usually because “It cost too much for them to miss out”. I hope the experience of kicking me out for ‘attitude’ and missing curfew was a learning one for my parents. I know they didn’t kick any of the rest of the kids out, despite their ‘attitude’ and missing curfew and of course, drug use.
... I didn’t understand how so many friends voluntarily hung out with their siblings. ...
...I also watched other families that seemed to be doing it the right way. Siblings that loved each other and cared about each other. Families that worked toward common goals. ... As I focused on changing those toxic patterns, I’ve found peace. Sure, we still have family disagreements, and fights. ... And I’ve found that as I consider these things, I can change the course of my growing up family too. ...
