Well, you might have noticed I have been kind of MIA since last friday... It's not that I or someone else in my family has fallen sick, but something happened at work on friday and I am tying to deal with it. And I hope that talking to you about it is a step in helping me. I'll try to tell the story brief... It's not been long since I m at my current job: since mid march. It's a local open service center, we have an elder home and a social service of people who need financial and social guidance. I work at the personel's department. Friday morning, I suddenly heard the alarm going over. Thinking it was the fire alarm for the billionst time and again false alarm, I calmly took my handbag and headed to the door of our office. At that moment, the door to the reception opened and a collegue stumbled in, we heard screams and the door closed again. The scream was one of the kind that goes through every part of your body and you simply know this is about life and death... The stumbled in collegue asked us to call the police "because he had taken her by her arm and was aggressive". She clearly was in shock. After the call to the police we headed to a secondary corridor. At that point, we pass another office and we see another collegue through the windows: she is standing outside and knocking on the windows, looking for a way in. She is walking back to my office. So me and my close collegue, run back to tell her we will open the back door. Then we see her being grabbed by a man, forcing her with her face to the window. Hands in her neck, her looking at us with such a death fear in her eyes, we hear her screams, ... At that point, I am running to the reception, in search for help, screaming 'he has Lynn'. Another collegue who was standing at the desk, jumps outside, distracts the agressor, but unfortunately, she is taking the toll and I see her being drawn at her hair, forced on her knees and being beaten up. Then - flash - 3 of my mail collegues fighting to free her, using force. Flash - after helping her up, I see everyone running to the save door, only realizing after precious moments he is back and can grab me. Running to the door, people are standing in the way to pass me... Bam - door closed and hearing him hitting it.... No way to describe how it feels, how fast things go, how great the guilt was to have drawn my collegue out by my cry for help, seeing y collegues using violence... Shock and guilt because I haven't been hurt physically and others did... Also, in the afternoon, after having made my statement at the police, the minute I walk in, hearing he won't be taken into the medical internment... The fear of him being released... Well, I don't know how I passed my weekend, really I have blanks... Monday I guess I shut everything off to be able to go to work. Not talking about it, when someone brings it up, not really answering... On tuesday, someone from victim aid came and I was struck: struck by the realization I have been dismissing my feelings, my fears, the pain... Everything rushed back and I started crying, feeling I could not stop... These last days have been strange: life goes on but inside something has changed and I have no safety feeling anymore. Luckily, I feel the admittance of my feelings is the first step into healing. Admitting and talking and allowing me to feel bad about it, not considering myself as a weak person... Why am I telling this here? No idea, to write it down, to hear your thoughts, a small part of the dealing process. Sorry if you got bored by my text, I won't be editing it. I just need it. Thanks in advance for any of your kind words, I'm sure I will soak them up.
Oh sweetie. I don't really know what to say other than I'm glad he wasn't able to get to you. Hopefully you and others in your office are able to recover from the trauma soon. <<Hugs>>
Wow, to be trusted with hearing your story is an honor. This is truly a first step so glad you shared. Shock is going to be around a while. I can't believe they had to back at work on Monday. I don't know what to say. Is there more counseling being offered. Not that you can't share here but someone extra to talk to. Be gentle on yourself. Don't buy the people will be bored. You are too loved around here. PM me if you need to say more (and you will probably, so if you need someone). Take care and lots of hugs.
What an awful experience! Of course the sense of fear will hang on for a while and recovery will take time. This is a good place to talk about the experience. Thank you for sharing. {{HUGS}}
Oh my gosh, what a terrifying thing for you to go through. I hope that talking and writing about it helps you to deal with it. It is really hard to overcome something that shakes you to your core and takes away your sense of security and safety. Thoughts and prayers for you and all of your co-workers!! Take your time with it. It will be a process.
First of all, a big hug for you. Thank you for having the courage to share your story with us. What a terrifying ordeal. It is perfectly natural to have the symptoms you are experiencing, especially after what you have just been through. The shock and anxiety you are feeling is to be expected. You have just survived a frightening, traumatic experience. Be kind to yourself. Cry if you want to, and don't dismiss your feelings. Reach out for support. Talk to someone you are comfortable with. Give yourself time to heal. If you just need a place to vent, or just an ear to listen, PM me. Hugs - and don't ever apologize for sharing your feelings here. That's what family is for.
What an absolutely terrifying and dreadful experience! I am SO glad that you are safe. ((hugs)) As the others have said, this range of emotions is completely normal following such an awful event. If you're not familiar with Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome, you might look it up and read about it. It should reassure that everything you're feeling is part of recovering and working towards healing. I am thinking of you and will keep you in my prayers. Lean on your Pad family whenever you need to do so! xx
Oh my goodness, what an experience you endured. I am glad to hear that physically you were unhurt, please do make sure you take care of the emotional hurt. Even if you feel ok today, stay in tune with yourself and make sure to take of you and talk to someone when needed. Big hugs my dear.
Oh, my goodness! That is terrifying. I can imagine that going to work is hard . I'm glad you felt you could trust us with your story. I wish I had some pearls of wisdom to share with you but I've never been through anything like what you experienced. I am sure all your emotions and thoughts are normal. I was thinking post tramatic stress, too. I hope they are going to offer some more support for you and your colleagues.
What a terrifying experience, I can't imagine how you have been able to cope. Hugs and hope that telling your story has given you a little bit of healing.
Oh, honey this is awful! I can't even imagine something like this. I do hope you find someone you can talk this through with to help you. You can't be the only one who is feeling this way.
I'm so sorry. We're here for you, I'm here for you. Just keep addressing your feelings. Try to separate them & take them one by one so they don't overwhelm you. Nothing in this is your fault. You will get through it.
omyword. Hugs... and lots of squeezes and more hugs! How scary, difficult, and so many more emotions! Talk out loud and to lots of people - it will help! Keep sharing. Be thankful, and guilt is normal. Each and every day is one that you will get through.
Oh my goodness - I'm so sorry you went through all of this! What a hugely traumatic experience. Dealing with all the different emotions and healing from such a scary thing will take time. Be gentle with yourself and be sure to seek out and ask for the help you need. It's not likely that you can recover from this on your own - I hope you find professional help as well as leaning on friends and family (including us here at the Pad). I wish I could give you a huge hug! Here's a virtual one anyway! ((HUGS))
Thank you sweeties, really so comforting to read your warm comms. I heard about Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome, Laura, but didn't made the connection this could be what I am experiencing now. We will have follow up meetings at work, we also have the possibility for one on one talks. The first one was indeed in group and was for me an eye-opener I am not the only one with my fears. Even people, who have only been involved on the sides, are feeling scared. All the "what if" stories make them scared. It's not helping that he could be released on monday. We are all scared to him coming back to work or to meet him in our private time with our little families. That's the frightening part that goes on: not being sure what the future will bring: he can be released any moment, at monday for sure. We are trying to get him locked up in an institution, so he will get the help he needs. But nothing is sure and that is so hard,we can not even start to close the incident in our minds, 'cause we don't know what the follow up will be.
Oh Sarah! Reading your words made my jaw drop, gave me goosebumps and made me shake! I can't even imagine the fear and terror of experiencing this first hand. I am so sorry that this happened to you and your colleagues. I'm so glad that you weren't physically hurt, but I can only imagine how the emotional trauma you've experienced. I can't believe that the man is going to be released on Monday. He should be in jail!!! Then they can deal with giving him mental help. None of you should be having to deal with the fear on him back out in freedom again so soon! I will say prayers for your safety and the safety of everyone you work with. Keep talking about this as much as you want to as many people as you want too. Talking about it can only help you and have others around you know your fears and help you share them.
I felt like I was reading an episode of NCIS. I can't imagine how that must feel in real life. *hugs* while you work through everything!
Oh my goodness! I'm so sorry this happened to you. I'll be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. There is some great advice and support in this thread!
Oh sweetie. I'm so sorry you and your co-workers had to go through something like that. It made me want to cry just reading about it. I can't imagine how scary that was. It will definitely take time to get through the stress, fear, guilt... all the feelings. Be patient with yourself and others. It is a difficult thing to deal with. But it is a good thing to get help. My mom went through a traumatic thing at a church she worked in, but she refused to participate in any counseling or PTSD help... I think she is still dealing with it after 15 years. :/ Big hugs to you, and you can talk to us anytime!!!
You are all so kind, I know you must be feeling saying the same things, but I really feel better reading your words, from each and everyone of you
