Well that didn't go as planned

lol! My youngest would say that to me, my oldest would help without the bribery. We bribe with cash or a little money in games they play online/phone. The other way I get them to help out is reminding them of the monthly phone bill, since they both have cell phones. That usually stops the complaining. We do give them chores - their own laundry, recycling and dishes mostly, but they have to help with grocery shopping, vacuuming, bathroom cleaning, dog walking, and random items. When I think their grades are good, and there haven't been many complaints lately, I give them a boost of cash.

What about plain cash? Or a trip to somewhere when this is all over? A trampoline place, boardwalk, water park or even a park or beach day? Maybe work toward a special show to watch, or a special treat you could make or bake now? Maybe a game they love to play but isn't your favorite? We've been playing Mexican train, and my kids have gotten so much better and now beat me.

 

I used to do allowance for summer chores, but I'm the worst at remembering to GIVE them the allowance. Lol. Now I pretty much tell them "I feed you, you help out" The end.

 

oh goodness, this is/was me... They would have running tabs of what I owed them because of this!

 

I finally had to switch to this method too... I started an excel spreadsheet with what I owed them and then added what they spent for their online games with my paypal account. They never really wanted cash anyway.

 

I am really blessed my husband is at home now. (With pay). He has the best attitude
To enjoy each day. And take as a gift of time.
He and the boys made diddly bos (one string guitars from cigar boxes). My hubby makes them. But the boys had a blast. We learned they love hand sanding wood.
Chores are done, but this time of containment we are really keeping it light.
We are finding that the boys want to do things WITH us
Cooking. We cleaned out storage areas and they are Ana big sorters.
Really all I want is them not to fight. Lol

 

@Angela Toucan Bless you!! Kids have a way of catching us off guard! Growing up, chores (household tasks) were not an option. We didn't have the option of neglecting them, it was just a part of being a family. There was a calendar and each child had a job for the week, in addition to caring for their own room/half of a room. Hardest one was washing pots and pans- cos back then dishwashers didn't take them. Older kids ( above 12) did their own laundry weekly Mom and Dad taught us they couldn't possibly do it all themselves! Yes, we had a large household, but it is a valuable lesson regardless of family size. If we complained, there were consequences. But also we were rewarded without announcement. What I mean is, we weren't told ahead of time that we were being rewarded. They just did it occasionally "because they appreciated our attitude and effort"; which is a very healthy motivation. A healthy adult lives by intrinsic motivation- without external prompts. Part of the weakness of the "Me" generation was caused by all the external motivation, and good character never develops without intrinsic motivation. Teachers learn this in Pedagogy courses. All Moms and Dads are teachers! Just may differ in what they are teaching.

 

I have a google reminder in my calendar. We are trying to teach munchkin how to deal with money. So it's the only way to remember that we pay him consistently!

 

I don't really have tips. We expect certain chores to be done - the dishwasher unloaded, table cleared, and vacuuming the whole upstairs. He's also expected to help with other chores as necessary. It's expected as part of our family. We all chip in.

 

This is my kids' spring break this week so I said they only have to do reading & chores! Lol they respond pretty well to bribery. For the boy- xbox after wiping all doorknobs & lightswitches. For the girl- tv or phone after cleaning bathrooms. They both have to unload the dishwasher every morning & make their bed/pick up their rooms & playroom daily as well. Sometimes that doesnt happen until bedtime when I'm up there to check.

 

This is my kids' spring break this week so I said they only have to do reading & chores! Lol they respond pretty well to bribery. For the boy- xbox after wiping all doorknobs & lightswitches. For the girl- tv or phone after cleaning bathrooms. They both have to unload the dishwasher every morning & make their bed/pick up their rooms & playroom daily as well. Sometimes that doesnt happen until bedtime when I'm up there to check.

 

I hesitate to say it but my three children never had to do any chores growing but then neither did I. Our life overseas alway involved 1 or more servants (except in Iran but that's another story). However my two sons learned a lot from A. National Guard service for one and B. the meticulous kitchen work for the other. They have both been equal partners to their wives. #1 is remarkable in cleaning up after dinner. I was envious when he lived nearby!

Husband #1 was quite good from his own years in the Air Force before we were married. Husband #2...as my friends say, You can't teach an old dog new tricks. I've tried, cried and sighed. He's getting a bit better during this corona time but he really doesn't get what clean means and does NOT want to be taught. He lives in his head most of the time... If you know the Enneagram he is a pure #5.

Now my daughter has actually worked as a house cleaner but in her own home she has learned the hard way now that if she doesn't instigate a lot of housework, she and her daughter will both suffer. I was impressed when she got on line and ordered groceries from instacart! as she had no car and is far from any grocer. She's getting lessons in responsibility that her father and I could never teach her.

 

Since I have no children at home-they are all grown so i have no problems with children at home. I say good luck to all of you and my best to you all. I just have these dogs and cats who think that going in and out is an olympic sport. How many times can we drive her crazy before dad comes home!!!! lol

 

That's what we have! There's a "Mom Owes You" little section on our family dry erase board.

 

@Angela Toucan I'm sorry, but I had to giggle at this. It is so something my DS would say. Or he'd say "nevermind, I'll just have Grandma buy it." (His grandparents are pushovers!) Sigh.

These past few weeks have been so topsy-turvy for everyone, including our kids. Right now I wouldn't stress too much, but I will say (since you asked!) that if the kids start using their birthdays as reasons not to do whatever I ask, I say "well I'm done buying stuff for your birthday and I've already given your grandparents ideas. So either you do what you're supposed to, or I take away something you already have." (DS loses Kindle time; DD loses her phone.)

 

@gonewiththewind
HA! You are bringing back memories of our DS. Such a social person, he hated school even though he tested in top 8 percentile. He also is ADD. He would do ornery things like "I'm done with the dishes, can I go to A.J's house?" And we would drop him off, only to find a small box full of dirty dishes and flatware hidden in the laundry room cupboard! ARRRRGHHH! It was a real struggle to homeschool him for 3 years let alone have to be his Science teacher in 9th grade!! Despite the emotional decision which caused him to agree to the estrangement, he is very good working with people, an well respected in this small community. He just has a lot of years yet to mature.

 

Like most of you, my kids have chores they are required to do each day/week. Chores rotate weekly. It's just being a part of our family. For the most part, they all do a good job.

Then I might have extra chores where they can earn money. Usually something out of the ordinary. For instance, my oldest daughter went through all of her younger siblings' clothes, pulled out our spring clothes and organized it all (5 kids - she didn't do her teen sisters). Something that I had dreaded doing but since she's at home more with this quarantine she had some extra time on her hands and was willing. I was more than willing to pay her.

Sometimes, on Saturdays, we'll spend the entire day working in the yard. Then we'll get the kids a special treat like some ice cream or a drink from Sonic.