What's new

....Video games.....

jennv

jennv

CT - Amy Wolff
Joined
Aug 13, 2010
Messages
839
Ok. I would love advice from my computer-using friends....don't want to post on Facebook and figured here might be a good place to share some "best practices"!!!

I have 7th and 5th grader boys....and they have become quite interested in video games (on the computer and iPads). Very, very interested.....one might say obsessed!!! LOL!!!

I have no idea how to limit these or what to limit...or ban? Is a "only on Friday" policy better or 30 minutes a day? before homework? after homework? I don't want to cut them out altogether as I think it is good to learn limits AND it is a good way to connect with other boys in their class.

I'd love to see if any of you have found a way that works. It's driving me crazy. And part of me also feels like it's the pot calling the kettle black as in all my free time, I'm on the computer scrapping!! LOL!!
 
in my house it's always been after homework and chores are done and still is...he's 17 now, lol.
 
My son is the same way ... obsessed with video games (mostly on his PC and loves to play online with friends). He's allowed 2 hours after homework is done.

He's a really smart kid, but has been having trouble staying motivated in school with certain classes (9th grade - 14 yrs old) .... so right now he is aloud to play 2 hrs per day, only on weekends until his grades improve. It's crazy he hasn't learned, that if he just did his work, he would have video games privileges everyday for a limited amount of time.

I allow 2 hours bc for the games he plays, 30 minutes isn't really long enough to get into it ... but I think it depends on the child, the age, and what else is going on his life. For my son, this is kind of the downtime/season ... when Crew/Rowing starts up there will likely be no time between daily practices and homework to play and it will definitely become more of a weekend only thing just due to circumstances. So it's really a shame he hasn't stepped up the homework because, he will soon see he missed out and wasted all those after school hours where he could have been enjoying some video game time. Life Lessons, I guess.... :)
 
We've been having trouble following our schedule, but normally it is 15 minutes during weekdays, an hour during weekend days, but only after all homework is done.
 
Jenn. that is good to know. My son is just shy of 13. He has started playing with friends online and he has been telling me that takes longer (I'm just learning when it comes to this stuff). The last thing I want to do is put arbitrary deadlines on stuff and then not follow through and go down that road.

it's been a tough change here at home to find a happy medium....so I'm hoping we can all talk about this on vacation and come to some understanding and then implement in 2015....LOL, I'm all about the New Year's Resolutions!!!
 
Also, I've been allowing it before homework...because it seems like the last thing you want to do when you come home from school is your homework..... We are better during fall and spring because we have our sports to go to...but this is the first year they all aren't doing b-ball so we have no winter sports practice to go to (which is a blessing and a curse!!).
 
boys here 6, 8, 9, 16 and 18. Video game consoles of all at our home at one point or another.
We have a couple things right off.
NO game that can be hooked to internet goes in bedroom. NONE, nada, never. This is for laptop mainly.
They play in public areas of home. Internet goes OFF at 10pm on teens laptops. I have a filter on each.
Game consoles.
Homework and chores done, and these words spoken to mom: " Is there anything you need help with mom?"
Then the games can be played ...lol
If the weather is nice, they help mom by playing outside for a bit!
In the evening, after dinner, a book must be read for at least 30 minutes prior to gaming. I find, sometimes the book wins out for the evening. Not always.
 
do what works for you and your family jenn! in our house we are constantly changing the rules to fit each new scenario ... it's never really static.

anne ... same here ... all electronics are in public areas of our home ... not their bedrooms. my kids even have to hand over their iPhones bf bed. they charge over night in our kitchen.
 
I too, feel like they should have a little time to unwind after school before diving into their homework. We usually negotiate that on a day to day basis. They both also do Taekwondo two days a week. With winter vacation here, we'll be looking for other things to keep them occupied. Quite honestly, they seem to get grumpy if they play video games too much and we keep them in the public areas as well. The only thing they do in their rooms is read and sleep. Both read before bed. For anyone who doesn't know me, I'm a live in grandma and boy are things a lot different today! I have to hand it to today's parents, this whole video game thing is a very slippery slope!
 
I only have girls and somehow I feel like it is very different with them. My teenager doesn't play them at all, although we do restrict phone time and usage. My youngest likes Minecraft and some random games on her ipod, but again, she doesn't get obsessive about any of them. My general rule of thumb is that if there's something else they can be doing, I'll suggest it (play outside! read! clean your room! LOL) but if it's just pure veg out time, devices/games are OK.
 
We allow 1 hour of screen time after homework during the week and 2 hours on the weekend.
 
It's difficult isn't it? My two girls aren't obsessed but once they start on the games they can be there for hours! I agree completely with the limiting of the online stuff. My girls' bedrooms are havens of peace and tranquility at the moment (no computers, devices, TVs - all they have in there is music, reading, books, puzzles, lego) and I'm trying to keep them that way as much as I can! I don't generally limit time on an activity unless it heads into the obsessive. With my eldest that was actually reading! She'd squirrel herself away in a corner with a book for all the available time in the world if she could get away with it and I wanted her to be a bit more interactive/ constuctive / helpful! We said she could have half-an-hour before sleep plus a bit of time in the morning if she wakes up a little before it's time to get up, it's worked actually. Occasionally she'll ask if she can read at other times and sometimes that's ok but usually only if she's a bit tired (or I don't want to argue about it!).

I'd say for gaming a longer time on a day (or a few days) a week would be better or they may be out of time before they really get started! I actually worked out a weekly schedule (which we're flexible about) which has been helpful for me to remember to do things with them (like showing them piano) which I always say I'll do but often gets pushed back to 'another day'. Good luck! It's a challenge with these type of things!
 
I have two boys (3rd and 5th grade). They are obsessed with iPad games and computer games. For awhile I had the rule that homework got done first (and not rushed through) and then they could have an hour to play. I found that I hated having to police that one hour and that it was really just more work for me. Plus when they were done with their hour all they could do was wander around aimlessly not knowing what to do with themselves. The younger one was especially bad about that. This year I had enough of the begging for more time so I cut them off. No video games during the school week. It wasn't hard while we had soccer and then basketball because we really didn't have time for it anyway. Now that sports are over, I may let them play a little again. Then on the weekends I found that since they weren't so obsessed with their games they tend to okay away from the computers and iPads more. They are also reading more by their own choice too.
 
Luke (5th grade) gets an hour of screen time a day. Homework, piano & cello practice has to be done. On the weekends he gets up to two hours/day IF his room is clean. Sometimes, if we're feeling generous (or don't feel like entertaining him), he can do extra chores to earn a little more time on weekends. This is rare, though.

It works for us. We've told him if his grades start dropping (which they never have), we'd have to revisit time restrictions.

ETA: We bought Luke a cheap timer at IKEA. He sets that (or the timer on his iPad bc he can pause it) and knows when time is up it's time to get off. He's a pretty responsible and trustworthy kid. :)
 
Last edited:
Mine are so small, but they know allready what tablets are. Especially the youngest is a tough one to convince him to do something else. They are not playing games, but watching movies on YouTube: anything from Cars, Thomas the train etc,...
In the beginning we had real scenes about it, but now he understands. It's half an hour a day and when they're doing little chores, they get extra 10 minutes.
 
I'm loving hearing how you all are handling this......We are revisiting a devising a plan over Christmas break on our drive down to FLORIDA....yes all 16 hours (or whatever it is!!).....as then with all things we will implement it in the new year. I want them to "own" it.....so I figured we will have lots of "bonding" time in the car and on vacation so we can get a plan in place.....
 
I have two boys in third and sixth grade. On weeknights...my kids have the rule where they cannot play unless homework is done. Both are pretty busy with sports and have practices or games every single day of the week so they don't really have time to play much on weeknights. When they get home I give them 20 minutes to have a snack and relax and then they get right to the homework and then practices. My third grader gets a bit upset on some days that he has no downtime to play but he made his choices about what sports/teams he wanted to do so he has to live with that.

On Fridays and weekends I don't limit them or require homework to be done first. They are still busy but if they have downtime and want to play I figure they deserve a break! I do feel free to interrupt them if I feel they need to do something else but I don't have a timer or limit time.
 
Back
Top