Most days I’m fine... somedays are just really hard... Today it’s exactly 6 years ago Jack (my late husband) got diagnosed with a brain tumor. 7 months later he passed away. There are so many moments I can’t believe what happened. Tomorrow my sweet Emma has her first dance representation and he would be so proud seeing her front row, it breaks my heart that he’s not there to applaud her. It’s funny how your mood can change from happy to sad and back again in split second
We’re so human and so fragile. When difficult things happen, we always look for the “why” first. Why do some people have such tremendous amounts of hardship to deal with, while others “seem” to have very little? I’m a Christian, so I believe that God alone knows the answer to this question. I struggle with health issues and chronic pain and have seen a pain management specialist every month for 14 years. It wears you down emotionally and physically, but I trust that in the end it serves a higher purpose either for me or for someone else. You, my dear Annemieke, have suffered tremendously, and I’m sure God holds you and your sweet children closer to Him because of it. You are beautiful inside and out and so wonderfully talented. We’re your surrogate family here at The Pad, and I’m personally always here for you if you need me for anything. Big hugs and much love!
@MiekSter @londoncuppa Annemieke & Margaret - hugs to both of you for your pain and struggles, in different ways. I totally get how your mood can change, whether its due to emotional or physical strife, struggles, etc. My mood flips all the time now, dealing with B's hospitalization and what the future may or may not hold for her. One minute I'm ok and then the next I'm exhausted and feeling irritable. It's hard to feel upbeat and motivated when I'm worn out and tired from all the back and forth to the hospital. I keep telling myself, acknowledge the feelings, then push past it and keep moving on, moving forward. The mood passes. I agree with Margaret, our Pad family is a great surrogate support for us all, in good and bad times.
Hugs to all of you! My husband lost his dad at 16, after being a quadriplegic for 4 years. He gets sad about moments, but firmly believes that his dad is still a part of his life. I don't think that sad, or pain even, ever goes away completely. I don't know that we want it to, because for me, that would mean forgetting about those who are gone from my life.
You have a lot to deal with Rea, it must be heartbreaking not to know what the future will bring. Hugs to you!
That's so true, 'grief is the price you pay for love' And I know it's ok to be sad sometimes, it's just that in some moments it can be so overwhelming... Most of the time I'm a happy person, knowing that he's happy when I'm happy and that he wanted me and the kids to live a full life.
I can't even being to imagine the pain and your children you must feel from the loss of your husband and their father...I'm so sorry. He'll be looking down and smiling with pride tomorrow watching your daughter dance. **hugs**
I'm so sorry to hear about your husband and I can't imagine the coping process you have to deal with as the time passes. Hugs to you and good luck to your daughter.
He'll be there...front row just like he would be if he were still here physically. Many, many hugs sent to you. Hope everything goes amazing for her tomorrow.
Bless you, @MiekSter - such a hard road to walk down. You are such a positive light for us here at TLP. Sending you ((HUGS)). I truly believe your hubby will be there with her in spirit.
I had trouble coming to terms with loosing loved ones at very early age, and in a way, my husband is gone... (he has Multiple Sclerosis & dementia- we haven't lived together for over 15 years) I have learned that God's plan is that sometimes we cannot understand why, in some cases we get some answers to why some horrible to us events happen (at almost 60 years old I have seen disasters of my life making sense only 10/15/20 years later) I know that is not much consolation when we are in this sadness..... we are here for you if at any time you need us...so glad you posted, because we can then come give you a super hugg. If ever coming to London, you know our home is open to you & yours <3 for now a virtual huge hugg will do
@MiekSter I empathize with you. Loss can bring a plethora of emotions, and it can be sneaky or even surprising. When we had to give our adopted daughter back at nearly 2 years old, I was in shock. I will never forget that feeling of our plane taking off, and flying over her homeland of Honduras. I did not know where she was, and I didn't feel I could ever return there because of it. I had many "Cassie" days. That' what I decided to call them. I also gave myself a "break" when they came, and permission to grieve and have faith that they would not stay. They didn't. I still have a Cassie day from time to time- much farther spaced apart- when I think of her off an on all day. She is now 18. I pray for her when she comes to mind. Losing her was like a death, but, not. Kinda messed with my head. I try to look at grief and loss this way; life is a grand masterpiece - it requires the dark shadows so that the brilliant colors and light can shine through. So while you miss your husband dearly, the dance of those feet across the stage are the sparks of light in the dark places of your heart. Be blessed.
Oh Annemieke...I am so very sorry for your loss...I'm sure that there are no words to make it feel better, and I can't say that I know exactly what you are going through. Although you won't be able to see him, Emma's father will most definitely be there, smiling down and watching her with pride in his eyes. (((Hugs))) to you and Emma, my friend!
So sorry @MiekSter. Life can sure change in an instant. But I know he will be there for the performance, looking down, proud and smiling! It's coming up on the 6 year anniversary of losing my dad, and while I feel so fortunate to have had him for as long as I did, it's still really hard some days. He was my rock. Some days it just hits me out of the blue and some days I just take a few minutes and talk to him. Big hugs to you
Oh sweetie, I am so sorry you are feeling like that today but it's normal and it sucks! Hopefully Emma is feeling ok. Maybe get her some flowers from him and tell her how proud he is of her!