Parenting Advice Please - Potting training yours son...

My oldest took forever to potty train for all of it too. I think for him it was something similar to you, his brother was two year younger and was still in diapers too. He started to show an interest in potty training when he was almost two and then his younger brother came along and that idea disappeared. The thing that seemed to work for him was stickers and mini grab bags. I put a huge sheet of white paper on the bathroom wall right in front of the toilet. He could look at it while he was on the toilet and when he was done he could put a new sticker on the wall. He loved making scenes and lining up train stickers. I also went to the dollar store and bought a 50 pack of brown paper lunch sacks and some junk toys. I put them in the brown paper bags and let him choose one and then it was like a fun surprise to open it up and see what he earned. That was all just to get him to sit on the toilet and go pee. We had trouble with #2 also and told him that he could earn a trip to the Thomas Train toy store and pick out one toy if he'd go #2. It was slow going but eventually I think he just got used to the idea that we weren't going to give up and he finally tried to go. I especially had to really try to keep my frustration off my face and make it seem like something fun. That seemed to help a lot too.

 

My 4yo has been 17 days doing #2 in the potty with no accidents. He, like your DS, was pee-potty trained rather quickly, but he would wait until naptime (when he got a Pull Up or diaper) and would poop in that. I mean, he'd literally sit on the potty before nap and do NOTHING, then 1 min later, when his dipe was on, he'd squat on his bedroom floor and go #2.

I could write you a book lol, but instead I'll just say this: your pediatrician is right. You've got to relax and let your DS take the lead on this. He'll #2 in the potty when he's ready. Perhaps a little apple juice, to help loosen his stools as well as hydrate him to use the potty for just #1, will help him want to use the potty. Just remember to set a timer for yourself so you get him on the potty before the juice works.

I say this as a mom of a 4yo boy who's now #2ed on the potty 17 days in a row (he got a reward after 2 weeks... that's why I'm so sure of the date rotfl). He's been #1 trained for quite some time, but it was easy for me not to rush him cuz of my experience with my DD: we moved cross-country when she was almost 2 and had started PTing (she took the lead--she loved her little potty lol) and she had a really bad potty regression right after the move. Her pediatrician said that was how she dealt with the stress of the move (cuz otherwise her behavior was the same: a wonderful almost-2-yo). When DS was almost 2, we moved cross-country again (he wasn't born when we made that first move). And then 15 months after that we moved homes--same state, but still a move. So I didn't focus on PTing him before or after either move cuz I didn't want a repeat of DD, who would take the poo out of her diaper and smear it around her room: walls, bed, carpet, dresser, change table, toys, all covered in poo graffiti. I did NOT want to go through that again! (I had to cut the feet off her one-piece PJs and zip them on her backward.) I let DS take the lead: if he wanted to use the potty to go #2, then he could sit on the potty if only to pay attention to his "got to go" feeling; but I made sure to ask him if he needed to go, just like I did with pee. Once he was doing all his #1s on the potty, I tried to get the #2s in there too, but like I said, he was used to going during nap time. And I don't mess with naps, so it was just a matter of waiting until he wanted to go on the potty on his own. It stinks (no poo pun intended) but you've got to wait for him to take the lead. For my DS, once he did it on the potty a few times, it was easier. And I let him have a few Jelly Bellies after a #2, which is a very special treat for him. He only had one #2 undies accident, but I think that actually helped him realize "this is NOT comfortable" and that he should do it in the potty. It's just a matter of finding what will motivate your DS (small rewards like a sugary treat after each successful #2, or a big one for multiple #2s, or a special potty seat insert to use on the big potty so he's excited just to sit down, a special potty DVD, etc) and then waiting. And waiting. Like I said, since I had a crazy experience with DD, I didn't push with DS and I certainly didn't get frustrated when he pooped in his diaper. If he said anything, I'd just say "We'll try for the potty next time!"

PS: Notice how this is me NOT writing a book. lol

 

I AM IN THIS SAME BOAT.... OMYGAW....
son does the same thing.... asks for a diaper just to poop. He cries when we ask him to try. we've read potty books, we've talked about it. He gets a freakin' MOTORCYCLE RIDE if he will poop on the potty... (He looooooooovvvvveeeeeessssss motorcycles.) he still won't go. He gets his big boy batman underwear when he can poop in the potty. still won't go.


we've tried refusing the diaper request, but really not a fan of that because he'll just wait. He rarely will poop in underwear, and can wear them all day with no accidents for either pee or poop (even during nap time). Because he'll wait, we've not done that much (my niece has been in the hospital multiple times because she just won't poop at all! horrible experience). So while I hate it, we still allow the diaper if he asks. And he still wears a diaper to bed.
Son is 3 this month. Maybe I'm jumping the gun with him... anyway.

same thing... my daughter was fine with it. Had a minor regression when baby brother got in the way/move/change in routine, but mostly was fine. She is still working on overnights. She is good a lot of the time, but still has "regular" accidents. She is 4 (tomorrow!).

 

my only advice, just relax...easy to write harder to do! lol
one of mine loved his little bloops of poop. not to discourage, but kinder he had a few times, he pooped and just sat in it all day...finally the teacher "smelled" it and discovered very kindly sent to nurse. from that moment on...no worries.

 

I would just echo what everyone else says, give him a diaper when he asks for it and don't make a big deal of it. The last thing you want is for him to have constipation issues and feel ashamed about a natural bodily function. Boys are so different from girls, with what they can and will tolerate. It feels overwhelming now but years from now, it will be another story you tell your daughter in law when she shares her parenting struggles.

 

I had the same problem, and I solved it by lying.

My son is naturally afraid of getting in trouble and always wants to follow the rules. As he approached 5 years old I informed him that the instructions on the diapers say "4 years and younger only." He had a couple months to get used to the idea, and then on his 5th birthday he knew he had to stop using them. It worked perfectly. Since he was so old, he was beyond physically ready.

Don't know if that is good advice, though. I don't usually like lying.

 

Duplicat post oops

 

This may not be "good" advice** but it is a GREAT story!

**ETA: I think it's good advice, but I do love the story of it even more. I just giggled at the idea of a little boy thinking "Oh no, I gotta hurry and get on this potty training business! Time is running OUT!"

 

My nephew was afraid of pooping in the toilet. No problems with peeing, but pooping scared him. The pediatrician told my SIL that some kids think they are losing a part of them in the toilet since it goes "plop". So, they ended up using a potty chair, and once he was okay with it, they added a little bit of water so it would "plop". Then he moved to the big toilet. But, I don't think that's a common thing.

(I just have to say, I think this ranks up there with weirdest things I've ever posted!)

My son got a trip to see Lightning McQueen (at Disneyland) if he potty trained, #1 and #2. I don't recommend that for most people though! We had Sara's problem - we moved cross country about 3/4 of the way through potty training. And ended up going back to diapers during it, because nothing sucks like stopping every 30 minutes with a potty training toddler! We were lucky and didn't have quite the issues Sara did, just a total disinterest in using the potty, especially since his cousin wasn't trained and they are 5 months apart.

 

I hope no one has the poo problem we had! She was (and still is) very verbal, so the fact she was using her poop like that was very surprising. I didn't expect a dissertation about the move lol but I didn't think she'd act like that! But I learned from it, and I made sure DS was not only prepared for the move(s) but also I made sure to put zero pressure on him about potty training.

 

Some of you may remember my potty training issues with Jamie in 2014. He was 4 & refused to potty train. I tried all the suggestions. Rewards, Thomas potty, sitting on the potty 'til he goes, staying in soiled clothes until it bugged him. I was so afraid he wouldn't be able to go to kindergarten. I took time off work & stayed home with him. I ended up leaving him completely naked all day. He was potty trained within the week. In clothes with no accidents in 2 weeks. He had been fine staying in soiled clothes because there was something there to catch the pee/poop. Naked, there was nothing to catch it & he just could not stand that. So, he used the potty. Once he got used to it, the clothes went back on. I'm sure this isn't for everyone. Jamie has ADHD & takes alot of out of the box thinking to deal with.

 

Oh, did we ever have this problem, but with my DD. We finally realized she was hiding behind furniture to use her diaper rather than the potty, so we literally followed her around until we saw her go hide. We immediately carried her to the potty, where she sat for a little while, but since the "process" had already started (so to speak) we didn't have to wait long. Then the light literally went on in her eyes at that moment. I don't think she made a connection between the two until that point. She was 3-1/2. We never had a problem after that. Well, the chocolate treats didn't hurt, either.

My DS was a different story. We later learned he has Aspergers/ADHD, so we didn't realize this played a big issue. Between family members and school teachers/aides (he was in an preschool for special needs kids), he had about 18 people working with him for over 2 years (he first "started" using the potty at 18 months, but wouldn't use it unless we put him on there). We tried EVERYTHING. Nothing worked. Then suddenly, much to our surprise, two weeks before his 4th birthday he went to the bathroom, did his business, and that was it. No accidents, no bed wetting. We now think he was so preoccupied with what he was doing that he didn't recognize bodily functions or needs. It wasn't important to him. We'll never know why he suddenly did it, because he wasn't talking yet, either.

Hope some of this helps, if not for anything but encouragement. It will happen, but sometimes they just have to choose to do it. That's all.

 

He seems to know when he needs to go since he is asking for a diaper - so your half way there. My second one was the same way - he was fine for number 1 but number 2- no way. The pediatrician said its because they fear losing part of themselves... We used a reward system similar to @Karen, and yes used a potty chair so he could still "see" it before it got flushed..
Also - my pediatrician was pretty progressive - he said as long as they go off to kindergarten in underwear - its a success.. don't stress - that makes them stress even more..

 

I'm sorry, I didn't have time to read everyone's stories, just stepping in real quick to tell you what helped us:
after a while we posted the potty in front of the tv and that made him think of other things. And when he suddenly peed, he said: hey, I peed in it and was sooo proud.
And from there, it all went smoothly.

I know, tv is not allways the right tool for education, but sometimes it can be a helpful tool when you use it smart.

 

easier said then done but just don't make a big issue of it...... he will go when he is ready to. It could be as simple as it scares him to go on the toilet..... power trip towards you.... who knows. I've heard of many children who are 4 and still won't go #2 on the toilet.
Maybe let him play an electronic game? help him to relax and not really think about what he is doing till it is almost done with? We did that with our youngest.

 

Totally agree!

 

My parents say that BOTH of my older brothers did this with their poop, so by the time I was around, they were just like, "here's the underwear when you feel like it, whatever" and didn't really 'train' me at all.

What worked for us was just talking about it, reading books, etc. No pressure. Gosh, isn't underwear nice. I have to go #2, here I go to the toilet because that's what we do. Eventually they got on board and wanted to do what everyone else is doing.

 

I remember trying to have some empathy about the situation. I feel comfortable pooping sitting down. If you asked me to poop standing up, I'd probably have some trouble with that. My son was used to pooping standing. Doing it sitting down might not feel natural at first. When I started to get frustrated, I would try to think of that. But in the end, I couldn't accept having him go to school and not be able to poop there if he needed to. Although, even though he started popping on the potty, he still held it in if he needed to poop at school.

 

I am so glad I didn't have boys! My girls were both super easy and trained really early, 15 mos and 17 mos. I did the "put them in the yard naked with a potty chair in the middle" technique. When they had that look on their face that they needed to go I would promptly plop them on the potty chair and cheer like they had found the cure for cancer. It worked for them and they were pretty much trained after a few days. Not so for my granddaughter, who was living with us when it was time to potty train. She'd go for me b/c I gave her mini m&m's as a reward and made a huge deal out of how awesome she was. Didn't work for her mom no matter what she did. She finally just started going on her own when she was ready. I'll pass on all your tips and tricks to my daughter for when it is time to train the boy! He's just turned 2 last week so it sounds like it may be a while...