I don't know if it's the end of another holiday season or the fact that my Sam just turned 5 but I am so depressed lately about him getting older. I am his world right now and he is mine and he is so darn cute and lovable. I am terrified of him getting older and not needing me, not wanting to cuddle me... I have been crying about for the last 3 days (not in front of him of course). I need to know that there are still good times for us ahead...
oh hugs to you....five was my hardest (I thought until 18 came around) lol although they remain cute and lovable....more on the cute (teen age is rough on lovable) my boys still cuddle me! They are both almost a half foot taller than me, and broad in shoulders, I have fallen into their arms for a big hug on many occasions. BEcause we snuggled when they were little, they do hug me now. My oldest son's wife, appreciates that he learned to cuddle too! I used to tell them...I hate to see you grow up, but it is so exciting to see you grow up at the same time. There are so many good times for you to come... Kinder when his teacher knows everything, and he explains it to you in his words..pure joy! When he starts to dress himself, his own style emerges. When the letters on the page become words he can see in his mind and he loses himself in a book. Bike riding all by himself. First time, he goes with a group of other kids and you drop him off...and be like me and circle around to make sure he is okay. there are milestones that will happen. you are a grand mom! the tears...oh those just keep flowing I can open a photo of my son at 5 to scrap and like a flood the memories come, and I smile as tears flow down my cheeks.
OH, Ama! Hugs... I was a little opposite, but the feeling is coming on strong now. I am not one to relish the younger ages. BUT... I LOVE the older ages - 5-12, so far! That is why I'm feeling it now. I dread my 12 year old getting older and pulling away. He hasn't yet, and I know it will come. He will still cuddle and hold my hand in public!!! My youngest, 8.5, will cuddle and everything at home, but already he is a different personality, and isn't too keen on public forms of me loving on him! So, they are both going to be pulling away at the same time! I'm hoping that at home they can still be loved on, and squished with cuddles and such. I can understand the public pull away, lol! I'll send you big squishy hugs, and remember to enjoy those moments and record your thoughts. They will give you comfort when looking back!
My twin boys are nine and I still get cuddles, so don't worry! I love the age they are at right now. They continue to develop as their own people and really surprise me sometimes! They still love attention from both mom and dad and right now we are each one of their favorites. Try not to worry, there are a lot of great experiences and memories to come!
Oh....you are still in for some of the best times with your son! I'm a mom of five boys. Talk about the adventure of my lifetime!! Never a dull moment. And as a mom I claimed the right to get and give hugs. Just like as a grandma now I claim the right to spoil and enjoy and everyone needs to just let me! Yeah, your days of adventure with your son are just beginning. Watching them find their wings and learn how to fly is sometimes hard, but it's also joyful. My boys are all grown and married now with kids of their own. They still give me hugs. All of them are taller than I am so it's pretty awesome to get those hugs. To know that they still love me. I remember my own Mom hugging my brother when he was younger. He would stand there with his arms down at his sides, stiff as a board. She would hug him and kind of shake him a little and say "Melt! Melt!!" Until he relaxed and accepted her hug. LOL So don't worry. You'll always have that special thing with your son. But you will need to let him fly. He will love you for that, too.
Every age has it's own way of showing love so if the cuddles start to fade, know that he'll love you in another way. Just be open to it and he'll surprise you when he's 7, or ten or fourteen or 25 or so. That's when my eldest son, after the birth of his first child, came to me with tears brimming in his eyes saying...Oh Mom, now I know how much you and Dad loved me. I love Jake SOOO much! Each age and stage isn't better or worse, it's just different!
That's precious, Maureen! I remember the first time we got the thanks for being good parents from our oldest boy. Makes a mom's heart happy.
When my kids are in that 3, 4 & 5 year old age I always tell them they are not allowed to get older. They are just so darn cute & cuddly! But with kids ranging from 2-14 I can say that older kids are my fave. I am now dreading my oldest learning to drive, getting a job and really having her own life. I don't know how people do it, but it's the cycle of life. Each part has it's ups and downs and there's so much joy in each phase. Relish each phase, that's all I can offer.
meanwhile, reading all of this... i'm just melting down. crying... my kids are getting too big. they're 3 and 4 right now.
Thank you so much for all your wonderful replies. I never thought it would be so hard saying goodbye to each stage! Especially because he is my only child and I am struggling to get pregnant again.
I tell my daughter (who 3 kids of her own) that you have children to nurture and let them fly. It was amazing to watch my child go through each phase of their lives (and heartbreaking at some stages) but that is why I had children. The joy of them discovering they can write their name, read a book, ride a bike, hit a ball, score a goal, drive a car, graduate high school, graduate college, get married and then the ultimate joy is when you see the love they have for their children -- it become a full circle.
I remember asking my older cousin his favorite age with his kids when my son was born and he told me honestly, "whatever age they currently are is my favorite". I have to agree. Mine are 15 and 16 and although I miss babies sleeping in my arms, bedtime stories and the like... I have throughly enjoyed every age that they have been. I currently don't get as many hugs as I did when they were 5, but when I do they mean the world to me and I don't take them for granted. For every door that closes along the way, a new one opens up. Our kids are independent creatures who don't need us as much, so a lot of doors have closed... but new ones where we enjoy the same grown up movies and tv shows, play the same games and can take part in the same activities have opened. It's hard to explain, but just like my cousin, I honestly believe whatever age they currently are is my favorite.
You have had such great words of wisdom and I ditto everything everyone has said. Mine are 25, 21, and 11. There is joy and happiness at every age and every stage. And when they become adults, you're still mom, just in a little different role. You will learn to love every age and not want to see it pass (except maybe some parts of the teen years LOL). The older ages have so much to offer, so many things to be involved with! My 11 year old still cuddles and wants to hug all the time and swears he always will. My 21 year old still sits on my lap (fortunately she is smaller than I am). There is so much goodness and joy at every age. You will love it!!
Keep loving them and letting them know it. They may not show you affection in public but they will in private. Just got hugs from my 26 yr old ds and my 19 yr old ds. 15 yr old dd held my hand at the movie. All the stages can be the best....different for sure, but each has it own charm.
I have a 5 year old, he still loves to cuddle but not for very long! I really have to enjoy my little baby (4 months old now) because he's my last and every milestone will be the last first for me!
Never fear, if you are the one right there to give hugs they will give them back! I have 6 children Brian is 29 Erik 27 Emma 26 Mark 24 Anna 21 Kurt 17 Sometimes the boys at that early teenage stage will stiffen up a little in your arms but just keep giving them daily and they will come around when they realize it is okay to still give mom hugs.... there is NOTHING better then when your boys get bigger then you (my tallest son is 6'5) and they come up and give you a hug and you totally feel wrapped up by them! Think how cozy, safe, and loved they feel in your arms right now. That is what you have to look forward too, just reverse roles!
