I've been a bit quiet because.....

Discussion in 'Chatty Pad' started by littlekiwi, Nov 17, 2021.

  1. littlekiwi

    littlekiwi I charge by the hour for anything before noon

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    I've been providing day to day care for my grandmother over the past few weeks who has dementia after a failed transition to full time care about 5 weeks ago. Due to protocols, she had to isolate for 7 days on arrival and after 2 she failed and came back home. Over the past month she has got progressively worse (which can't be helped) which is why each family member does about 4 days at a time to preserve some "normality" and give everyone some breaks (two of the carers work either full time or close to full time so taking large chunks of time off was never going to be a long term solution)

    But I heard some very good news yesterday......at long last at the end of the month she is moving to care permanently without the need to isolate - just need a negative covid test and limited contact with the outside world (my aunt who lives closest can visit her in her room but can't take her out until we have further easing of the restrictions due to COVID). We had thought that it wasn't likely to happen until mid December if not later so this is just the news we all need. I have one more stint of caring for her along with my mum for 4 days next week then she moves.
     
  2. bestcee

    bestcee Lorelei and Rory are my neighbors

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    That's great news! I'm so glad that it's happening sooner than expected!
     
  3. cfile

    cfile My bags are packed for Platform 9 3/4

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    Great news Jennifer and I am glad that you could also be with her for these care stints. Keeping you in my thoughts as caring for our family is never easy, but so glad you could be there for her.
     
  4. Memaw2Wm

    Memaw2Wm Well-Known Member

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    Great news! I can't imagine isolating a dementia patient when moving her into a care home, just moving alone would be a huge change. I hope your grandmother's transition is relatively easy.

    My friend's mother moved into an assisted living facility a few weeks before COVID hit. The mother doesn't suffer from dementia, but being restricted to her apartment/balcony for months on end (no visitors allowed) was extremely hard on her and on my friend who lives a couple of thousand miles away.
     
  5. bcgal00

    bcgal00 Say, "birdseed!"

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    Glad to hear your news and sounds like a good idea that you were all able to rotate days so no one gets overwhelmed. Hope she settles into the new placement quickly.
     
  6. jk703

    jk703 CEO of Anything and Everything, Everywhere

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    I really like the rotation idea, and such great news about her upcoming move! Hoping the move goes smoothly!
     
  7. gonewiththewind

    gonewiththewind I choose joy.

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    Providing care for any family member is exhausting, but especially when they have dementia, it makes it infinitely worse. I'm glad that she will be placed in care that can specifically address her needs and you can go back to just visiting when restrictions lift. ((HUGS))
     
  8. IntenseMagic

    IntenseMagic I like my pillow Rock hard

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    Bless your heart, Jennifer! I'm sure that has been difficult! I'm glad that she will be placed and get the care she needs sooner rather than later!
     
  9. littlekiwi

    littlekiwi I charge by the hour for anything before noon

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    Exactly, it's not so much physically exhausting but mentally and emotionally exhausting. I'm sure for my aunt who has due to proximity taken on the brunt of the responsibility its been physically exhausting too.
     
  10. HeatherB

    HeatherB Ain't nothin wrong with a few dust bunnies!

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    You are such a wonderful granddaughter to help provide care for your grandmother when she needs it the most. Good for you! Glad to hear she has a placement coming up and a plan that doesn't involve isolation which can be very distressing. I hope she transitions well.
     
  11. littlekiwi

    littlekiwi I charge by the hour for anything before noon

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    When under normal circumstances there are only 5 people (plus a few hours of paid support work) who can do it you pitch in and even more so when COVID means two people can't travel to help, two work full time or nearly full time and you're the only one not working.
     
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  12. Cherylndesigns

    Cherylndesigns All glasses should be bigger than 1.5 oz

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    Bless your heart for helping to care for your grandmother. I'm so sorry to hear that she has dementia. Sending hugs and we'll be happy to see you back in full force.
     
  13. Serena

    Serena Squishy soul poet who loves Walter Hunt

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    I hope all goes well!
     
  14. littlekiwi

    littlekiwi I charge by the hour for anything before noon

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    Well today was the “big move”. Was a bit up in the air earlier this afternoon after family had left with lots of anger & tears, comparing the facility to “jail” and a few threats for good measure (we know it’s just the dementia “talking”). Unfortunately we couldn’t all help her actually move into her room due to the care facility’s COVID rules which made it harder. A few hours later she did seem a lot happier having met a few people (Initially she was against meeting anyone or doing anything) and had what sounded like a lovely dinner - salmon which is one of her faves.
     
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  15. gonewiththewind

    gonewiththewind I choose joy.

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    I know this move is incredibly hard on everyone, but I'm glad that she appeared to find some comfort in meeting new friends and having a good meal.
     
  16. littlekiwi

    littlekiwi I charge by the hour for anything before noon

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    Me too, I’m not sure she’s quite making friends yet but at least she’s being friendly and not ignoring people which is what she was doing in the beginning. We are just riding out the mood changes from a distance now which is a huge improvement. Knowing she’s in a safe place with the care she needs is a big weight off our shoulders too.
     
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  17. rach3975

    rach3975 Well-Known Member

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    Sounds like it was a tough day for all of you, but once she's adjusted it's going to be a positive change. I had some older relatives who ended up liking their care facilities a lot more than they'd anticipated because there was always someone to talk to or an activity to go do.
     
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  18. littlekiwi

    littlekiwi I charge by the hour for anything before noon

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    Tough day is an understatement....more like a tough few months. I'm sure it will be a positive experience eventually, we just have to ride this "wave" now.
     
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  19. rach3975

    rach3975 Well-Known Member

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    I hope it gets easier for all of you and you're able to relax and take some time for yourself!
     
  20. littlekiwi

    littlekiwi I charge by the hour for anything before noon

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    Well its been a challenging few weeks to say the least though I think things are getting better. To start with we had a lot of negativity thrown at us by her and threats of not wanting to be there, wanting to go "home" and jumping off her balcony at her residence but it seems to be dying down and I'm not getting 20+ phone calls a day. We do have some concerns about her care but hopefully after my mum and I see her at her facility on the 27th we will be able to make a better call as to the quality/quantity of care shes receiving.
     

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