It's harder than I thought

Discussion in 'Chatty Pad' started by enjoyyourpix, Jul 18, 2017.

  1. enjoyyourpix

    enjoyyourpix My mama don't like you

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    I'm not handling my DD graduating and heading off to college very well.

    I have 3 days left with her this week, then she's gone for 11 days for summer cheer practice. She's home for 1 night and then gone for 4 more days for cheer camp. I get her for a week and a half and then school starts and she'll be 3 hours away.

    I'm trying to be excited for her. I really am. I mean it's not like I haven't sent a kid to college already ... I know the drill and all, but I'm just so sad. :cry
     
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  2. jk703

    jk703 CEO of Anything and Everything, Everywhere

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    Awww, Kimberly! Hugs... and more hugs! I would and eventually will be so sad too! It's hard to let them fly....
     
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  3. Tree City

    Tree City Get a stepladder, I'm busy

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    I'm sorry, Kimberly! TBH, I wrote like 6 different responses, but, since I've got young kids, they seemed hollow. (Not untrue, but hollow coming from someone with young kis.) So I'm just going to say {{{hugs!}}}
     
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  4. LoveItScrapIt

    LoveItScrapIt I'm a poet, and everyone knows it!

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    Awwwwww...HUGS!!! Can you plan a mom day with her this week to get in some extra cuddles and time?
     
  5. bcgal00

    bcgal00 Say, "birdseed!"

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    Hugs mama! It's totally natural to be blue about her moving away to go to school. It'll get better.
     
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  6. Eyeore

    Eyeore Think it over, think it under

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    I feel you, I have 18months left with my DD until she finishes school, and even though my boys have studied at Varsity, that daughter/mother bond is different.
     
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  7. bestcee

    bestcee Lorelei and Rory are my neighbors

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    That is so hard! You be sad all you want!

    Maybe that's the other part of the difference? When Kid #1 went, Courtney was still home. Plus, you've spent so much of her senior year doing things - cheer practice and dances and those amazing photo books! It totally doesn't seem fair that so much of her summer is packed!

    Lots of hugs, and plenty of room on the couch for you to come be sad all you want!
     
  8. berniek

    berniek I have a girl crush on the Naming Fairy

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    I'm going to be the unpopular person here and speak from the eyes of a daughter like that (I was the youngest too, and quite protected).

    Please make sure you don't show all of this to her. You don't want to ruin this experience for her. Because she is growing up and that's scary in itself, you don't need your mother to be scared too! Kids are supposed to grow up and move out. This is good for her. And probably for you too, in time. :) And 3 hours isn't that far, it's totally doable to come and visit you or her whenever you two feel like it!!

    That being said, it's ok to vent out here. :)
    I just felt like someone had to show the daughter side of a situation like this. I hope you don't feel attacked, because that was not my intention at all.
     
  9. carrie1977

    carrie1977 Tequila and Taco Tuesday

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    :tacklehug I don't know how I'll handle this when my time comes.
     
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  10. jenn mccabe

    jenn mccabe She's OUR sunshine!

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    I'm so sorry. When this day comes ... I will be a mess. Just a big old mess. Why do they have to grow up and leave???? {{{HUGS}}}
     
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  11. jenn mccabe

    jenn mccabe She's OUR sunshine!

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    Important stuff to remember for sure! I was the oldest and very independent (so never knew what it felt like to be the protected baby of the family)... trying to imprint some of your wisdom into my brain for when my little girl (the youngest of my two) goes off! :beat
     
  12. scrappydonna

    scrappydonna Blah blah blah

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    Awww... I don't know how I'd handle this when the time comes for DD. I still have a long way to go!! ((hugs))
     
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  13. IntenseMagic

    IntenseMagic I like my pillow Rock hard

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    It's sure not easy to let them go. I think it was harder the second time for me. I'm not sure if that's because she was second or because she is my only daughter. It does get better with time and the whole new mother/daughter relationship grows along with wonderful new adventures. I really love the relationships I have with my adult children.
    (And sometimes, after you have adjusted to the whole new life, they move back in out of the blue and mess with your routine :giggle)

    I'm not sure how I'll feel when the youngest is gone. I'll either be a big ole mess because he's the baby, or I'll be doing a celebration dance because I will have been raising children for like 33 years of my life. Maybe a combination :giggle

    Sending you big hugs, mama! :happyhugHope you are able to make the most of the rest of your summer together!
     
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  14. Sokee

    Sokee What we do in life echoes in eternity

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    awww (hugs) I know how hard this is! Last summer, I spent the whole summer crying with all the changes that happened with my life with children grown but the worst was my Anna moving 1300 miles away. And now she is expecting our first grandchild, her due date is Aug 31, I feel so sad that I'm totally missing out on it. And will be the birth too...................
    There is an adjustment for us moms. Glad to hear that she is 3 hours away and can come home or you go there if you need to.

    Best invention ever is FaceTime. I LOVE it!
     
    Last edited: Jul 19, 2017
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  15. bbymks5

    bbymks5 Where oh where can it be?!?

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    Awww...hugs!!! I'm sure I'll be a blubbering mess by the third time.
     
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  16. gonewiththewind

    gonewiththewind I choose joy.

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    Oh dear, I've been in your shoes. Give yourself permission to grieve her. It's OK to not be happy. This is a big change for both of you. It took me the entire fall semester of Olivia's first year of college to cry it all out. There are still times when it's hard, but overall, I'm quite used to our new life.

    As far as what @berniek said, you don't want her to see ALL of your hot mess, although I think it's good for your children to know that you miss them. There's a way to let them know that without snotting and crying all over them, or calling incessantly, or in general making her feel responsible for your life. I made sure Olivia knew where I was in the process, and that I was hurting - but that it was normal for that to happen. I knew every single detail about her life for 18 years and then in one fell swoop, I knew little to nothing, unless she chose to tell me. I was completely aware that she was grown and independent, but to immediately shut off from being a mom for that many years was difficult. I was in a hard place, I made sure she knew it in a kind way, but I also made sure I didn't expect her to DO anything about it either. I also made sure to ask her how SHE was handling the transition, but let her control how much she wanted to talk about it.

    Sending you MUCHO ((HUGS)) and keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.
     
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  17. BevG

    BevG If I can't remember it, it didn't happen

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    {{{hugs}}}} Hmmm, I have sent off 2 sons, but I am thinking the daughter will be harder... I have 2 more years until it happens.

    Anyways, you have already got some good advice, so hang in there.
     
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  18. dawnmarch

    dawnmarch Actually, no. You are not funny!

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    I've got one more year and I'm dreading my DD leaving already.
     
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  19. londoncuppa

    londoncuppa I like rain, England ... and big words

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    I'm sorry you're struggling. I've sent 2 girls off to college. One graduated in December but is saving for medical school. The other goes back in the August for her Junior year. DD#1 might be going to Japan for a 2-year commitment if she gets a new job she's trying for. THEN I will be a blubbering mess. JAPAN! That's pretty far away from Texas.

    I'll be a mess when DS leaves for college. He's my baby. I want him to be 46 years old and living at home with me. He can eat pizza and just play video games all day. I'll be fine with that.
     
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  20. Karen

    Karen Wiggle it, just a little bit!

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    Aw hugs to you momma! I can't even think about it yet. I have two boys and I'm pretty sure that it'll be like having them go into a black hole with no communication until they come home. That'll be so hard! Hopefully your daughter will call and post stuff on Facebook so you can at least see what she's up to. Until then, enjoy the time you have left with her. Then you can start a countdown for her first visit back home. :)
     
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