Good Layouts that Bring up Bad Feelings

Sorry you had a bad experience. I can totally relate. There's always "background drama" going on with my extended family. My husband is clueless too. It all just goes right over his head. I would have a hard time scrapping about it, too and I know what you mean about it feeling phony. I've had several occasions that I just couldn't do it. Maybe I used a photo or two, but I didn't need the memories. I don't even take pictures sometimes because that feels phony to me, too.

The last time that comes to mind, my siblings and I just got away by ourselves and went to a casino. We had a blast and we took a lot of pictures. So, you probably have enough to scrap without including the "yuck".

 

I have a special digital album that is an all about me/ journal album. I would include that kind of page in there. That way it's scrapped the truth of the event for me, and tells my story, but is separate from the family holiday pages.

 

I say just scrap the good parts. Life is that way.. the good with the bad. Do you know? Yes... even with looking at the happy pictures you know the background and that is ok. I would not air that out.. maybe do an AJ page just so you can get it out, but do you need something to remember the parts you weren't happy about? no.. you already remember it. I have HORRID memories of certain things.. I do not need to write it down. It is something I remember clearly. I just don't want to be looking at pictures and have to read about it down the road, as I will not forget, but I don't need anyone else to see it. ... Just my thoughts mind you.

I hope you scrap the good things. As far as your Dad goes, it is harder when they get older... their tolerance is not the same especially when they live alone and control their surroundings. Sometimes we (you - perhaps in this situation) may feel like "monkey in the middle" as we are the tie to both sides. Just know it is a short time together and let it go and don't dwell on the rough spots and cherish the good times. What I think you were feeling was the pull from both sides, trying to see to everyone else's happy place and you created an unhappy place for yourself as it was uncomfortable being in the middle. Scrap the good parts

 

Yes. There was a time period in 2016 that was the worst in my life. I chose to do my Project 52 anyway, and try to scrap the good stuff. I look at the layouts and remember the bad times, but then focus on the good times that happened through the storm. Soon, I think, I will just remember mostly the good. I say scrap it honestly and if it's something you need to keep private, keep those in private and share the sanitized versions.

 

I say scrap your feelings right now, how things happened and get it out. Maybe a couple pages if needed. Traditional or AJ, whatever you are feeling. Then once you purge the bad stuff, then you can scrap the good stuff. I tend to scrap the good stuff... but sometimes the bad feelings need to be out before you can focus. I think it's this way for a lot of people, and we focus on the good only. You can then decide to include or... not.

Reminds me of a craving... if I deny it, it gets stronger and stronger and I overeat. If I have a little and get it out of my system, I can move on.

PS... in my albums, I have a page called Mr. Crankypants for my youngest... he is still to this day, 9 years later. We look at the book, acknowledge it's how he is love that little stinker anyway, and then laugh at it. He laughs too. It's acceptance.

 

What I usually ask myself is "who is this album for and what is it's purpose"? If it's for the family and the family was unaware of the drama, then I don't include it. I do that now with my pages from when we're around my in-laws.... my husband and I are knee deep in the drama, but the kids are off hanging out with the cousins and don't know the half of it (although they know more now that they're teens). I also mostly take photos of the cousins having fun together and not so many photos of the adults, so it's easy to scrap things that way.

Now the drama we had on our last family trip? That went into the album because we were all a part of it. I didn't go into great detail about it, but I didn't leave it out. It is something that we already look back on and laugh about because we were all such horrible, cranky people when we first got to Paris.

That said, if I needed to get it off my chest, I would definitely make truthful pages, but like @Angela Toucan mentioned, I would put them in a "me" album.

 

I tend to focus on the good stuff for the family albums as well. I guess I want those to be the memories that my children and grandchildren have when they look back through the albums when I am gone. Do I know what was going on behind them? Yes, and I can't help but think about it when I see the pages. But, like Tracie said, I try to keep in mind who the album is for and what I want them to remember. If they weren't aware at the time, I don't see any reason to drag them in to it later or taint their memories if theirs are good ones. Maybe scrap from your daughter's perspective for her pages, and do something separate for yourself.

 

Such good, wise thoughts, Christa! @cfile

 

OUr lives are on such a rollercoaster of drama (the passive-aggressive behind the scenes is the perfect analogy). I just downloaded some of @Danyale things to scrap the parts that hurt and well, I want them out on a page. It may or may not make the book. But, I will enjoy scrapping it, and be able to laugh and cry creating.
I have a bit of cleaning to do, but I am going to scrap TODAY! ARt journal my cares away!
the first is a page I want to do when I call my mom and apologize for being a crappy kid to her,
when all they wanted as parents was to just bless our lives and make fun memories

Then She Said Kit and it is retiring eek)
by Etc. by Danyale
and this yelled get me NOW!

Unfortunate Events Document Set
by Etc. by Danyale
and I already had the kit of Upside Down, but missed the word art

Upside of Down Kit
by Etc. by Danyale

Upside of Down Word Art
by Etc. by Danyale

 

Just a thought... do you journal on your layouts? If so, are you afraid that your feelings will come through in the journaling? If that is the case, why don't you have someone else write down their thoughts about the vacation and use that as the journaling. Maybe even get the rest of the family's thoughts on the pages for this vacation. Use their perspective instead of yours. I know people that will do this every so often on layouts so that the viewpoint isn't always the same person. The pages actually end up being family favorites... kids love to brag when Mom uses their words.

I agree with others that if you need to, do a page just for yourself but don't include it in the vacation pages.

 

Well, I can't beat the wonderful advise thats already been said, but as for me personally??? I scrap everything, but that's not to say everyone sees everything!!! I don't make albums. My oldest daughter is the "keeper of the layouts" and I have told her that what she does with them all after I am gone is up to her. They are all in folders by families and events in my computer and two safe backups. Now to me there is absolutely nothing wrong or phony about only scrapping the good times. If you choose to leave parts out, that's your choice. Nothing phony about that. When I went on my vacation back to Connecticut to my 60th class reunion, my daughter who went with me absolutely RUINED the whole vacation!!! No details!!! But I am definitely going to scrap my happy time at the reunion. I will probably do some, what I call, the darker side art journal pages about all that happened and then when I am gone, my oldest daughter can show them to her sister and make her see what she did!!! (hee hee hee karma is sweet!!!)

 

I was also going to say scrap the good parts for the family album, but if you need to let it out scrap a few pages for your AAM or AJ album.

 

Hmm - I had to go look and see how I scrapped a trip with some drama. Yup, just did the good stuff. Although one layout has a word art that said "we will work it out". Other people looking at the book may wonder how it applies to the pictures, but it was a subtle reference to the issues we had that day. For me, I wanted a reference because it was what happened, but I didn't want the details documented. When documenting what we did each day, I just said we "hung out" the day that was "bad".

 

I ditto what a lot of these ladies are saying.

If it's for your kids and they had no clue about the drama then scrap the good parts for them & the memories they made.

 

Sorry you had a different vacation from your family--at least they had a good time. Yes, I've scrapped things leaving out the bad and have been able to look back fondly at the good. I would still scrap the yuck, though, and put it with my personal layouts if for no other reason to just vent.

 

I'm working through this now with two trip albums. I took the trips with someone who was, at the time, a very close friend. Now, not so much, and the loss of that friendship has been hard and painful. But, they were adventures that I had - I saw some beautiful places and learned a lot about those places. So, after putting it off for a long time, I'm scrapping these pages from a very "what & where" perspective. This is admittedly very different from your situation because my family wasn't on those trips - it was just me, so it's only my "story" to tell, not my kids' story - but maybe there is a time and a place for "just the facts, ma'am" type of layouts?

 

I've struggled with this in the past and have come to one conclusion: what will our future family members 100 years from now need or want to know? That's why I leave it out, if possible. Jenn's @jk703 "mr crankypants" idea is a wonderful way to introduce stuff like this, but otherwise nope. While I have mentioned stuff in albums when neededm I want to focus on the happy and the good.

 

I scrap everything, the good, the bad, & the ugly. Just documenting life. I would do each day in 2 pages. The good on one side & the not so good on the other, contrast. Whatever you decide is fine. These are your memories, you have the right to make them cheerier than they felt at the time.

 

I agree with everyone, I only scrap the good - the bad will be there in my mind anyway.