So my husband doesn't have Facebook. He barely uses the internet, usually to check sports scores. He's not a social person in real life and he thinks social media is stupid. I have a Facebook account. It's my Facebook account. It's not one of those shared Kim-Dan Lund Facebook accounts, but my account. I'm a teacher and I'm careful what I post but it's my personal account. My husband's family keeps posting pictures of my husband when he was 10 and wearing coke bottle glasses -- pictures that he would find embarrassing at best, if not humiliating -- and tagging me in them. Or my BIL posts pictures of his admittedly cute kids, and tags me in them. I do not want to be tagged in pictures of my husband or his nieces or nephews. I do not want people clicking on my profile and... I don't know, seeing random photos of little children that are not mine? Or of my husband looking a fool? Not to mention that by tagging me in a photo of his children, my BIL now makes that photo visible to all my friends... and he doesn't know 99% of them. I know I can untag and I do. Just spent a half hour doing it because a BIL and a SIL both went on a posting spree last night and I just figured out how to untag myself from a status (already have it so I can't be tagged without approving it). You'd think they'd realize that I'm untagging myself, but no, they just keep doing it. I really want to send out a mass email/Facebook message and ask them to stop, but DH does not want me to rock the boat. So I just untag and seethe every time it happens. Thank you for reading. I had to vent and I figured Facebook probably wasn't the place to do it. Especially with a wedding coming up on that side of the family in 2 weeks. Edited to add: I do think my in-laws are very nice people and that they probably have no idea they're annoying me. Which probably makes it worse for me.
If you go into your settings, you can make it so you have to manually approve things you're tagged in before they can show up on your page. Maybe less annoying if you don't get tagged often? Lol. I had my MIL blocked for awhile because she kept taking my photos and uploading them on her page and it was making me so mad!! (And that's probably completely illogical, but I can't help it!)
I would still just send them a message and say that you'd rather not be tagged in photos that you don't upload. I think you could write it in a way that references the fact that you're a teacher and want to have more control over what your friends see. I don't think that's rude. You could even mention that you like seeing the pictures of their kids, but that you don't want your friends to see them... maybe even say it's for the kids privacy sake or something. Maybe they aren't aware that by tagging you, that your friends can see all those pictures then... You could handle it in a respectful way and not "rock the boat"
thankfully all my in-laws are techno-phobes so I'm good here but I can feel you pain and it would drive me insane too xx
They only have that option for tagging in pictures, which I do. They don't have that option for tagging in statuses, and my in-laws have gotten to where they are tagging me in statuses now. So maybe they did figure out I'm untagging the photos. It's a little more complicated to untag from a status (i.e. can't do it from my iphone). My DH would be mortified (and angry with me) if I ever said anything. He has a very strange relationship with his family. I didn't even mention the political emails my FIL forwards to me once a month or so. Totally against my political views and I have no idea how he got the idea I would approve of that viewpoint (excpet that he assumes since it's his viewpoint, it's ours). Not touching those with a ten foot pole. Just vent to my DH and delete.
I feel your pain, Kim. Especially the part about not being able to say anything but just being annoyed every time you have to untag yourself. My MIL shares my photos on her wall sometimes, and it kind of makes me twitch a little, which is especially unfair since my mom tags herself in most of my photos and that doesn't bother me at all. They are, after all, her grandkids, and I think someday I'll want to share Jack's baby's photos with my friends, so I've started tagging her sometimes so it will show up on her wall. But I crazy hate it when other people share my personal photos on their own walls. I don't understand how I can have my photos set to "Friends Only" but when a friend shares it on his/her wall, suddenly MY PHOTO becomes available to whoever that person knows. That's really, really wrong that people can share MY photos on THEIR wall.
I'd be annoyed too. But I agree with Dan, don't rock the boat. Just keep doing what you can to keep your personal fb just the way YOU want it. ps. i haven't seen or noticed any of those random pics or posts. So you must be pretty quick at getting yourself out of there. LOL
A fellow friend and teacher had kinda the same issue. She ended up creating a 2nd FB account....one for family and a professional one. Sometimes family just don't realize or even understand why some things shouldn't be shared with the entire world.
Kim, I have my account set that only I can see photos I've been tagged in. That way, people can tag me, but everyone and their brother cannot see it!
I hate being tagged in other people's photos too. I think that even if you untag quickly, your friends can still see it in the activities on your wall for a short time. I think. Blah! Bad in-laws! ;0)
yes, this.you can also block them, but if they are nice like you say, just talk to them...most of the misery in this world is because of mis-communication My dad has Facebook now...he is bleeming 85!!!!! in the beginning (though a highly educated man, with many science awards and academic degrees) he was posting stuff in my nieces & nephews and my own daughter's walls...we spoke to him and now he knows what is *cool* and what isn't LOL If they are nice, they will understand Also: my daughter asked me to ask for permission about what LO's with photos of her I can tag her and which ones not....which I understand perfectly. There is another thing that kinda bothers me of Facebook and the digiland scrapping world: people you don't know, but see you are a scrapper and send a friend request...without any explanation.... I do get it if we just started in a team together, or something is the connection....even so...I ALWAYS try including a message together with the friend request... I found some designers who have personal FB and I always say: I am sending a request so I can tag you and advertise your product, you can refuse the petition of course... I think I would be far more annoyed than you are...but it's worth talking to them, right?
