Another day another plan..

Discussion in 'Chatty Pad' started by cookingmylife, Jun 9, 2019.

  1. cookingmylife

    cookingmylife I just like to go fast and wear helmets

    Aug 1, 2012
    It's almost being 'normal' now to go to bed at the end of the day and think, ok that's the plan -for Dick's on going cancer related treatements, location of facility for treatments etc. After being on palliative care for a couple days, the hospitalist came in to say - in quite a few words, paragraphs and a round about way, that the team felt it was time to switch to 'comfort care'. After a bit more talking I asked if comfort care was hospice. He said, rather regretfully, yes. Dick and I both teared up but knew this seemed like the next and were as mentally and emotionally prepared as you can be before actually hearing it. The doctor left the room and Dick and I had a nice talk about it. At least he wouldn't be interupted and 'bothered' so often. However, hospice probably meant a move to a facility that would get the services of a Hospice provider.

    Hospice care has grown tremendously in Maryland but is provided by services that come into a hospital or a nursing home that has a hospice wing. I was going home but by the time I was ready to leave I had calls from both of the providers asking to meet with me to have an consultation. One I had about an hour later in the hospital. I can only say that if anyone has had a time share presentation or dealt with the stereotype used car salesman you know what I mean as I felt I was getting the full court press to choose this one. It didn't help that she came in with what a friend calls 'centerfold' makeup but thankfully not full false eyelashes. I went home thinking I couldn't endure another one consultation but booked the second for yesterday.

    Sunday morning I met with Woman #2 could not have been more different asking ME about what I was looking for, listening and taking notes. I totally liked her and felt I was heard by a person who had empathy and love for her work. She said there was no rush but to be in touch whenever we had a discharge date. Consultant #1 had told me to ask the doctors to decide on a date. (I'm going to push the doctors to get my husband out of a good hospital??? seriously?)

    At the same I was meeting Woman #2 Dick's Chemo oncologist who we both love came in to see Dick and told him he was not suggesting Hospice because he felt that both tumor locations had shrunk 'enough' and yes he would request a speech therapist to help Dick with learning to swallow again. Change of plans!! so Dick will stay in the hospital for another two weeks and if nothing worsens and his blood counts go up he will go to one of the facilities we had as our two picks but not under the Hospice umbrella. When I got back to Dick's room to have him explain most of this, his voice was much stronger than the faint whisper he'd had so I know he feels he has a reason to hope. If that gets him a bit of joy, I'm all for it.

    Me? I continue to figure that it's all just for today. The old saw, yesterday's history, tomorrow's a mystery but we have today and that's why it's called the present. Love to all here. You really make me feel good. xoxox
    KarenB, KarenW, cfile and 2 others like this.
  2. cookingmylife

    cookingmylife I just like to go fast and wear helmets

    Aug 1, 2012
    Dick and his oncologist Dr. Garg. Dick has a lot of bad hair days in the hospital.....:giggle:giggle:giggle

    KarenB, mcurtt, cfile and 3 others like this.
  3. Tree City

    Tree City Get a stepladder, I'm busy

    Sep 28, 2011
    Wow, that sounds like a lot to process, and even if the change to *not* going to hospice is a good change, you still had to go through all of those emotions (and the pushy consult #1!).

    I'm so glad that his chemo oncologist had an alternative course of action and it's wonderful that Dick has hope. I'm always amazed by all the things speech therapy can accomplish, and I am sure Dick's speech therapist will be a great help with his swallowing.

    Hugs, Maureen!

    ETA: I forgot to say that you're bad hair day comment made me giggle!
  4. wvsandy

    wvsandy I love ALL parts of the baby! No, really!

    Apr 15, 2011
    Oh Maureen! How frightening this all must be for you! Hugs and may the Holy Spirit grant wisdom & peace to you and Dick on this blessed Pentecost!
    AJK likes this.
  5. Dalis

    Dalis Jose Cuervo is NOT a good friend

    May 6, 2011
    I am sorry that the hospital would tell you something that is not what the oncologist's plan was. I am so happy he has a plan for Dick. btw. not fair to call it bad hair against that doctor's almost wig like perfect hair. It's just not a fair picture for Dick. LOVE YOU, Maureen! We are here for you.
  6. SharLamb

    SharLamb I should have been a Supreme

    Aug 4, 2011
    Dealing with that first woman must have been a horrible ordeal. Dick looks so cute in that picture, INCLUDING his hair. Glad you ended the day with some uplifting news. Praying for you both.
  7. djp332

    djp332 Dude. They're on your head ...

    Dec 23, 2015
    I’m sorry that it’s come to this, but know that hospice care is wonderful. They’ll make him (and you) comfortable in his last days.

    Sending you lots of virtual hugs.
  8. KimJ

    KimJ Did you check in the refrigerator?

    Nov 28, 2009
    Oh my goodness, Maureen. (((hugs))) So sorry for the emotional roller coaster and that the first consult was so awful. Glad the second one was better and that Dick is feeling a bit hopeful. Hope the next two weeks go well! Love the pic! :)
  9. IntenseMagic

    IntenseMagic College was bad for my reputation

    Feb 28, 2012
    Continuing to keep you both in my prayers! What a roller coaster of emotions you all are dealing with. Love and big hugs to you :heartlub
  10. bcgal00

    bcgal00 Feeling lazy with my coffee and book

    Nov 18, 2010
    I had to smile at the bad hair remark because when my mom was in the hospital a lot during her health decline at the end, she complained and made faces about how terrible her hair was all the time and was always making us laugh about it.

    What an emotional time you both had. I will continue to send prayers, hope, peace and positive thoughts for you both. However this unfolds and whatever care he needs, what a comfort that he has you right there with him. Hugs to you both.
  11. Eyeore

    Eyeore Think it over, think it under

    Jan 2, 2014
    I don't even see the bad hair, I see two broad smiles and that is something special.
    Lots of love to you and him as you process and face the future. One day at a time and good things in every day.
  12. Cherylndesigns

    Cherylndesigns All glasses should be bigger than 1.5 oz

    Dec 15, 2017
    I agree with all of the above. We've spent a great amount of time in hospitals with our youngest DD's health problems. so I know how frustrating it is when all of the different "experts" come at you with a "plan". I can totally relate to "Miss Centerfold", too. Steph's most recent stay was at Cleveland Clinic, FL and one of the "experts" came in dressed to the nines and worse had on "clippy clop" high heels.

    You just need to trust the Dr in charge, in your case Dick's oncologist. They're calling all the shots, anyway, and have to approve everything else. You and Dick are in my thoughts and prayers every day. Sending lots of Cyber Hugs to you both. PS I think Dick's hair looks great for everything he's been through. :heartslub:heartslub:heartslub
  13. patsyt

    patsyt Loop-de-loops? Not a fan!

    Jan 2, 2013
    I'm so sorry you had to deal with the emotions and the woman #1. Continued prayers for you both. And some people would say that at least he's got hair!
    Cherylndesigns likes this.
  14. flowersgal

    flowersgal I have big ears and wide arms

    Feb 14, 2014
    Such an emotional roller coaster you have both been on. So glad to hear the message of hope. Praying for you both -- one day at a time!
    Cherylndesigns likes this.
  15. HeatherB

    HeatherB Ain't nothin wrong with a few dust bunnies!

    Jun 2, 2010
    Sorry that you've had to deal with such a roller coaster of emotions. Hugs to you both. I hope the next few weeks go well for you both.
  16. Rachel Jefferies

    Rachel Jefferies Designer

    Jun 12, 2011
    Awww sending you big hugs and love
  17. Karen

    Karen Alarm off, brunch ON

    Jun 28, 2008
    Wow Maureen! As if the emotions you must be feeling aren't enough, to have that rollercoaster of a day must be exhausting! I'm SO glad that the oncologist doesn't feel it's time for Hospice and it gave me goosebumps to hear about Dick's voice being stronger with a spot of hope given to him! That can make all the difference in the world! I love that cute picture of him with his doctor too... so good to see him smiling! :) Continued prayer for you both!
  18. cfile

    cfile My bags are packed for Platform 9 3/4

    Sep 2, 2011
    Hope and prayers Maureen that Dick continues on this positive path. I am so glad the oncologist came in with new plans :) The smile on Dick's face shows it all :) I will continue my prayers and thinking of you.

    (I have been in your place re the consult with the Hospice etc.. it is not easy and it is hard emootionally.. all I can say is big hugs)
  19. AJK

    AJK But I don’t want to go among mad people!

    Apr 18, 2012
    Maureen, I agree with @Cherylndesigns- have to stick with the Dr.'s recommendations. Haven't had to deal with that for me or hubster, but for my mother. She's had 8 surgeries, triple bypass, pacemaker, etc... Dad gets completely flustered and so decisions and details fall to one of us girls. Learned during Mom's first heart cath. to double check things, and not accept conflicting reports. Praying for you both- hold onto hope and choose joy- it is like a medicine!
    Cherylndesigns likes this.
  20. mcurtt

    mcurtt give me all the paleo brownies

    Jan 2, 2015
    Maureen, thanks for the update. I am siding with the oncologist. His prognosis sounds the most positive. And while it is so difficult keeping upbeat, you and Dick have to. There is something to be said for laughter being the best medicine... And I love Dick's smile AND hair. Keeping you both in my thoughts and prayers.
    cfile and Cherylndesigns like this.

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