Am I a Mean Mom?

Discussion in 'Chatty Pad' started by Karen, Jan 7, 2013.

  1. Karen

    Karen Wiggle it, just a little bit!

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    Little back story here:

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    My boys saved for a year and bought themselves iPods around Halloween. Tonight... this happened:

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    My oldest took his iPod out of it's case and was putting it back in when he dropped it on our hard tile kitchen floor. He immediately burst into tears. I felt so awful for him and just gave him a big hug and told him I was so sorry.

    I got right on the phone with our nearest Apple store and they said would replace the iPod, but it's going to cost $99. Ouch! I told my son that he was going to have to pay for it to get it fixed. He's taken it out of the case before just because he likes to slip the silicone rubber case on and off and I've told him that he has to leave it on. Still. I feel awful making him pay for it. He actually got just over $100 for Christmas, so he has the money, but he is totally my saver and is so stingy with his money and it really hurts him to have to spend all his money to get this thing fixed.

    I feel awful, and probably could afford to fix it for him, but I really think this is one of the hard life lessons he needs to learn. Back me up... I'm not being too mean, am I? I did tell him that I would give him some extra chores and help him earn a little money back again.
     
    Last edited: Jan 7, 2013
  2. Tree City

    Tree City Get a stepladder, I'm busy

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    You are NOT being too mean. Heck, I don't think you're being mean at all: You're being a parent. :) Even if he hadn't saved for the iPod in the first place, would you pay to replace it? I know my parents wouldn't have lol because a kid has to learn to respect his/her things--and there's NO WAY they'd replace it if I'd been told to leave it in its case.

    Here's my "I had to pay for it" story: When I was 13, I used allowance to buy a back to school outfit and a new backpack (my mom had bought a backpack for me the year before and didn't think I needed a new one). Anyway, I set the bags down for a sec while we shopped in the Children's Place and some little dude stole them (I will ALWAYS think about this when I pass that CP in my parents' mall!). My mom--who totally spoiled me when it came to clothes, books, toys, everything!--refused to buy them again. Remember, we hadn't even left the darn mall and I'd already lost the outfit and bag. :( So, crying, I replaced the clothes and the backpack with the money I was planning to use on fun stuff. My mom said that I would pay more attention to my things if I had to replace them myself, instead her "saving" me.
    And she was right. I mean, I haaaaaated having to rebuy the same dang things 20 minutes after I'd bought them the first time, but you better believe I never set down a shopping bag--even "just for a sec"--ever again!
    And like I said, my mom spoiled me. She still buys me clothes and I'm in my 30s lol. But her lesson stuck with me.
     
    Last edited: Jan 7, 2013
  3. AnneofAlamo

    AnneofAlamo Slippers IN sunshine? Even better!

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    nope not mean at all....
    life lessons are the hardest, and I bet that never comes out of the case again.

    still sad, makes me want to hug him so hard
    I love that you have some extra chores to help him earn it back!
     
  4. staciahall

    staciahall Quidditch, anyone?

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    Life lessons aren't easy. I think it's great you have a way for him to earn a little extra money to lessen the sting.
     
  5. Karen

    Karen Wiggle it, just a little bit!

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    Yeah Sara, my parents would never have paid to fix it for me either, but they didn't have any extra money ever. I learned the value of a dollar at a very early age. I know he already knows the value of money, but I just think if I pay to fix it, he might do it again. I know he'll take good care of it if he has to pay for it! Actually, the sad thing is, he has taken really good care of it. He's been careful about where he sets it down and never loses it and keeps it charged all on his own.... just wouldn't leave that case on it. I feel just awful for the poor kiddo.

    The sweetest part was that my youngest who is 6 felt bad for his big brother. He also has about $98 left from his Christmas money and said that he wanted to give his money to his brother. Isn't that too sweet? Mean mom kicked in there too though and I wouldn't let him give his money to his brother.
     
  6. Tree City

    Tree City Get a stepladder, I'm busy

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    that was really sweet of him to offer his money! But yeah, you can't let him do that. (In a few years, you'll have to watch out for your older son trying to con your younger son out of his money. That's what I would have done with my younger brother. Heehee!)
     
  7. Lynne-Marie

    Lynne-Marie there is beauty in everything

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    I agree with you 100%! My oldest saved up to buy a new bike... a BMX. He would ride it to school everyday. I told him that he should always lock his bike up, but he thought I was being over-protective. I warned him that if he got it stolen because he didn't lock it I would not pay one penny to replace the bike. Lo and behold, he got it stolen... lesson learned!
     
  8. kelley

    kelley Gets excited over little green things.

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    I agree! Especially since he is able to afford it!
     
  9. jenny

    jenny jenny

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    What about splitting the cost in half, or would that not be as much of a lesson to go halfsies? I'm too soft probably.
     
  10. Dalis

    Dalis Jose Cuervo is NOT a good friend

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    I don't think you are being mean. I think you are teaching him good!
     
  11. 3littleks

    3littleks Pass the gold and the glitter, please!

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    I totally agree with your decision. I think that kids definitely need to learn how to be responsible with their money and their "toys". Kudos to you for this.
     
  12. Angie4b1g

    Angie4b1g A hundred jobs but Bob Villa ain't one

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    I'd at least split it. But I'm a pushover. Lol
     
  13. MissKim

    MissKim ichthyophobic

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    To me it would depend on whether the accident was solely because he was taking off the case, and how many times I'd told him to leave the case on. If it truly was an accident, I'd split the replacement costs. If I'd said, "leave the case on" and he didn't listen, he'd have to pay it all himself. And if he's a saver, it would hurt all the more and he'd learn his lesson and listen the next time.
     
  14. Mrivas

    Mrivas I know how to spit like a man

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    I think that it's a great way for him to learn to take care of his things. So, not mean at all, since it's gonna cost him I'm sure he will take better care of it next time.
    I would do the same with my daughter if we were in the same situation.
     
  15. Celeste

    Celeste I'm moving to Hogwarts!

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    nope not at all. i think it's a good lesson to learn. but i would probably split it because i'm a sucker whose parents paid for nothing!
     
  16. Li Li Wee

    Li Li Wee I create my imagination

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    nope you aren't mean.. This will teach them responsibility and being extra careful taking care of their stuff...
     
  17. nfenchak

    nfenchak Where is my personal shopper?

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    I'm a sucker too & wouldn't have the willpower....but thought of a good alternative that MAY work. sometimes the stores will give you a free one in a lifetime replacement b/c the producst break so easily....If you walk into a store, they may do that for you especially if it's your cutie pie paying for it....then if they did - I'd either have him put the money in a seperate "insurance" place so that if it happens again it is covered or buy an otterbox that he will promise to keep on....

    good luck.
     
  18. Micheline Martin

    Micheline Martin New Member

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    that's not being mean at all, by spending his own money to fix it he will learn not to take it out of it's case.
     
  19. strawberryredhead

    strawberryredhead Tacos, tostadas, tamales, OH MY!

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    I think you are definitely doing the right thing. Not only is it reinforcing the value of a dollar, but he's learning that Mom really IS always right! lol
     
  20. groenhop

    groenhop Takes advice from 3 year olds.

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    I know that we would pay for half of it again; I'm pretty sure my parents would have done the same.
     

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