I've been a bit quiet because.....

I've been providing day to day care for my grandmother over the past few weeks who has dementia after a failed transition to full time care about 5 weeks ago. Due to protocols, she had to isolate for 7 days on arrival and after 2 she failed and came back home. Over the past month she has got progressively worse (which can't be helped) which is why each family member does about 4 days at a time to preserve some "normality" and give everyone some breaks (two of the carers work either full time or close to full time so taking large chunks of time off was never going to be a long term solution)

But I heard some very good news yesterday......at long last at the end of the month she is moving to care permanently without the need to isolate - just need a negative covid test and limited contact with the outside world (my aunt who lives closest can visit her in her room but can't take her out until we have further easing of the restrictions due to COVID). We had thought that it wasn't likely to happen until mid December if not later so this is just the news we all need. I have one more stint of caring for her along with my mum for 4 days next week then she moves.

 

Exactly, it's not so much physically exhausting but mentally and emotionally exhausting. I'm sure for my aunt who has due to proximity taken on the brunt of the responsibility its been physically exhausting too.

 

When under normal circumstances there are only 5 people (plus a few hours of paid support work) who can do it you pitch in and even more so when COVID means two people can't travel to help, two work full time or nearly full time and you're the only one not working.

 

Well today was the “big move”. Was a bit up in the air earlier this afternoon after family had left with lots of anger & tears, comparing the facility to “jail” and a few threats for good measure (we know it’s just the dementia “talking”). Unfortunately we couldn’t all help her actually move into her room due to the care facility’s COVID rules which made it harder. A few hours later she did seem a lot happier having met a few people (Initially she was against meeting anyone or doing anything) and had what sounded like a lovely dinner - salmon which is one of her faves.

 

Me too, I’m not sure she’s quite making friends yet but at least she’s being friendly and not ignoring people which is what she was doing in the beginning. We are just riding out the mood changes from a distance now which is a huge improvement. Knowing she’s in a safe place with the care she needs is a big weight off our shoulders too.

 

Tough day is an understatement....more like a tough few months. I'm sure it will be a positive experience eventually, we just have to ride this "wave" now.

 

Well its been a challenging few weeks to say the least though I think things are getting better. To start with we had a lot of negativity thrown at us by her and threats of not wanting to be there, wanting to go "home" and jumping off her balcony at her residence but it seems to be dying down and I'm not getting 20+ phone calls a day. We do have some concerns about her care but hopefully after my mum and I see her at her facility on the 27th we will be able to make a better call as to the quality/quantity of care shes receiving.