Reading Struggles

That's a bummer. I suggested it cuz DD likes audio books (I tune them out, too). But you're trying, and as a parent that's all we can do! Maybe a reward system would help make the nightly struggles easier simply cuz she'll get something she wants if she reads. Or maybe the reading specialist at her school would have some ideas? I bet there's at least one teacher at her school with a BA or masters in literacy. They'll definitely have ideas to help a reluctant reader.

 

I think we all do!

Dh didn't like to read until he discovered comic books. Even now, while he will read books, he likes to read the graphic novels. My kid is a struggling reader. As in, he loves stories, but doesn't have the reading skills yet.

I don't think there's anything wrong with not liking to read. But it sounds like the struggle is more the homework requirement for it? What happens if you let her get a bad grade one term/semester? Or is that not enough to motivate her? Just thinking outloud - sometimes it's better to fail in an earlier grade, when it doesn't matter as much as high school, etc.

And I have to say, I hate how reading is forced at schools now! It's so over the top, and having to do all those tests? I'd be frustrated too @IntenseMagic !

 

I think you have done everything you could possibly have tried.
Sadly reading is a life skill that one absolutely has to have. I do trust that the light goes on fer her soon and thet you will have peace.

 

Oh. I am sad for both of you!
My Melody is a great reader, and begs me to let her read more, stay up later to read, that sort of thing.

My only idea is, can you take the reading back a step and give lots of praise. Example, if she is giving up after 10 pages, can you get her some books that have close to 10 pages? The other day in the book section, I found some "mini-novels" (didn't know that was a thing, lol) that didn't have a lot of pages. One was 3 chapters over 12 pages and most of them had a picture on the opposite page. If/when she gets through that, give her a ton of praise, make a big deal (but not too big, they quickly figure out we are exaggerating, lol) and maybe have a book chart and every 5 (or 7) books she gets a small reward.
Slowly increase it, maybe the next step could be 4 (or 6) small books and one 20 page book, or what ever slightly larger book.
I'm sure you could find something at the library rather than buying a whole lot more, especially if they arent going to be read very much.

One thing I would strongly suggest is not to punish for not reading. As someone said, reading is an extremely important part of daily life, you dont want to make her hate it more than she does. It will be infuriating to let her get away without punishment, but with reading I think baby steps and lots of praise!!

Hugs for you. I hope it gets better!!

 

Neither of my older two liked reading or wanted to read for school, so I told them when they started having certain books required for school that they better learn to write well and BS so that they could at least convince a teacher they had read

Oh how I wish they did things this way at DS's school. They have all the fun levels and banners and stuff, but their reading grade is also affected by how many of the required points they get each 6 weeks. It counts as 3 test grades, so if he gets 15 out of 20 that's like a C counted 3 times. He almost always has an A in reading until AR points are calculated. He just finished reading a 26 point book, but didn't get a high enough percentange on the computer test to get any points, so now we are scrambling to make up the point difference before grades are done next week. He is in 6th grade and reads on a 9th-10th grade level. He loves the big chapter books, but he's picky about the genre he likes and it makes it more difficult when he is told he has to read nonfiction vs fiction. I hate it! He's reading Anne Frank now and really enjoying it (he's a WWII buff), but wondering if he will score high enough on the test before next Thursday really just sucks. We go through the same thing every grading period. He usually manages to pull off at least a B overall, but it's sooo stressful and IMO takes the joy out of reading. The school knows my opinion well . Also, the special ed teacher in me worries about the kids who have a more difficult time reading and about how stressful it must be for those kids/parents.

 

I wonder that too. There is enough stress today for both parents and children. I can't imagine my child coming home and an immediate war starting every day over homework--something that studies have shown doesn't really help very young kids, so then they feel burned out before they're even old enough for homework to be truly beneficial.

 

We have read aloud time every night. I read aloud and they really get into the books. Sometimes we take turns reading. I think this has helped them all have an interest in books.

Someone suggested taking it down a notch. Maybe you could read a page, then she could read a page? I say your the mom & you do what is going to work for your kid. I have taught 5 of my kids to read so far and they all were so different. They all took off with it at different ages. One was 11 when she finally started love to read and now my 6 year old just took off on reading & it's her favorite thing to do. I do believe that there are people who just don't like to read, but just because you don't like something doesn't mean you shouldn't do it. LOL! So much can be learned from reading, it's a huge gift we have.

 

I have one that dislikes reading... and one that tolerates it.

My oldest has some learning issues, especially with reading, so we take it slow. He had a tutor, we read together, he watched movies, then read the books, we tried comic books, audio books, but he just doesn't like it. Ugh. Our stress levels have been better since his IEP has been in place, he has also gotten older, understands what is required, and will do the work. This has been since Kindergarten, and we have had the IEP in place since 4th grade (Yes, it took that long). He is not a reader other than what needs to be read. I do enforce quiet reading time, so he does it, but they are usually small/short increments of time throughout the week (20-30min), besides homework/school work.

My youngest is a better reader than the oldest, but gets bored easily. We are trying all the different routes so far that we tried with my oldest. Right now, we are reading chapters, and then re-reading chapters, to build up fluency, and to become a better reader. His teacher and I have chatted as to how to help him right now. She wants him to become better in fluency, rather than work on finishing books. He has his book for school, but we also have a book for random reading times when I ask for quiet time - so he's reading a Hardy Boys book. I think the mystery might work, plus boys.

 

I have 6 children and I have found a lot of times it takes discovery to learn what types of books they like to read! My oldest put a book in front of him that is all about Sharks/Dinosaurs/Lego...... and he will read, if it is a chapter book No Way!
My next son Erik (who is now 27) He was really late with his reading. Did not know his alphabet until the second half of 1st grade. Discovered he needed glasses. So that put him behind and it was a fight to get him to read! I ended up bring him to the library and would have him pick out a book that had tapes to go with it. I would have him put the tapes going and he would need to follow along with the book. That was HUGE! HUGE! in turning him into a HUGE book worm! When all the Harry Potter books were being released at that time, he was the one that needed to pre-order and as soon as they were in the stores he was there to get his and would be in his room for 2 days with the door shut and read read read! So I do think there are time you can turn a non reader into a reader.
My son Mark- Any type of book that the main characters were animals he was right on it!
My girls were easy......
My youngest Kurt just put any type of graphic novel or comic book and he was happy! We have a huge box full of Archie digest.

So my recommendation get a audio book/paper book so he can listen and follow along at the same time. See where that takes him.

AND let him really think about what interests him and let that be what he reads.

 

I used to work in Education Policy, and I trained to be a volunteer after-school reading specialist. At home, I have one kid who loves books, one who does not.

(1) Let her read whatever the heck she wants. It does not have to be novels. Try her on non-fiction. Try graphic novels (Raina Telgemeier is everything right now). Let her read the newspaper, knitting patterns, cookbooks... People tell you to find books with kids' interests in them. Yeah, but maybe try to relate to them on a deeper level. I had a shy, but athletic 12 year-old Somali girl in my homework club. Her mom just wanted her to read a novel. I tried several sports-themed books, all the popular Hunger Games/Divergent/The Fault in Our Stars, nothing. Then I found "Does My Head Look Big In This." It was a fictional book about a Muslim girl living in Australia who decides to wear a hijab, even though her mother doesn't. It was a smart, funny book, and I saw that she just needed a book she could relate to on a deeper level than, "basketball." Keep searching. Don't give up.
(2) In my experience, even though they can read independently. 9 year-olds still like being read to. If it's tough to fit it in every night, try having "book club" once or twice a week.

 

Slept on this and had some more thoughts. Is the reading just for a time log or is there a test/report due? If it's just for the time log, I would be really open about what she read, like @Juliestcyr and others have mentioned. Graphic novels were great for both of my kids. The first book my son (the late reader) really read for fun was a game guide. He loved the Lego Star Wars Wii game but would get stuck on levels... as an attempt to get him to read more, we bought him the guide for the game and he read that thing cover to cover, often playing with the book right next to him so he could look things up as needed. My daughter (the non-reader) loved joke books and random fact books. She would read those aloud to us, without really realizing she was reading. The grosser the fact, the more excited she was to read it to us. None of these suggestions are novels... but they kept them practicing with their reading.

 

I have one child, and he is not a reader. His daddy isn't either, so that's probably where he gets it from. He struggled enough that we had him tested for dyslexia, and the testing confirmed that he had comprehension problems (just like me, but I enjoyed/enjoy reading; I just had trouble remembering what I read). He's a junior in high school now, and he's never taken a Pre-AP or AP English class because he knows that a lot of reading is involved. But he understands that he needs to read in order to pass his classes. He has issues with expression, especially written, and we were surprised when he was able to tell us about the book they just finished reading in class - The Crucible. He said he liked the book, so he did well on the tests.

When he started getting word problems in Math, he didn't do that well. But something clicked, and he's been doing very well in his math classes for the last 4 or 5 years (perhaps longer), so the reading is usually not a problem, and I think that's because it's just a very short passage.

As @tkradtke said, just get her to read anything, because anything counts as reading. I remember buying my son those random fact books, and he would read those to us and not realize he was reading! He loved the Diary of a Wimpy Kid books. He looked forward to those and would always tell me when they were coming out.

@IntenseMagic, that is horrible about the AR program! At our school, it was simply a rewards system to encourage reading. My son doesn't test well on certain things, so I know exactly that y'all are going through. You would think the teachers could figure that out, especially if his reading level is several years ahead. Ugh.

 

I think a non-reader can switch to a reader as this happened to my eldest granddaughter. She had all the school testing, a tutor etc to see why reading was so hard for her. Nada. She was in middle school and is a competitive girl so she knew reading was really important in life and school.

The click was when the first iPad entered her household. Reading a book on the iPad was the solution! I don't know why but apparently it's true with a lot of students. She now reads lots of paper books as well on her own for fun and has great comprehension. Younger sister has always been a read for fun reader and one who asks impossible questions about what she reads. Great mind but a challenge for parents!

 

I did this with my daughter and it did help. She is a very social, interactive kid and sitting alone reading is like torture to her!

 

One final tip, inspired by @lizziej , the single biggest predictor of whether or not a kid is interested in reading is if they have adult reading role models. Particularly for boys, they need to see the men in their lives reading for enjoyment. You could try having a family wide Drop Everything and Read (DEAR) time, for everyone's benefit.

 

Oh man!! I wish I could work with your daughter!! I hate hearing that school work is causing so many issues. There's something going on that's causing her to hate it so much and she needs a re-set! @Juliestcyr is spot on with her advice.

Totally not a fan of the reading grade based on those AR tests.

Ideas popping into my mind ... If the teacher is not able to work with your daughter about finding an alternative way to assess the reading, then you read the books with her. Take turns reading pages maybe? Talk about the book. You say the comprehension is there. Perhaps emotionally connect with the book so she retains it better for that stupid test.

Then... as for her independent reading homework ...
She's 9? Is she in 4th or 5th grade? The expectation is probably 20-35 minutes of reading a night. Empower her to tell you how she's going complete that. In my reading/studying for literacy development, this should be done earlier in the day (not right before bed). 10-15 minutes before school. Another 10-15 minutes right after school. While dinner is cooking. In the car. Wherever/whenever. Also she chooses what she reads. Blogs. Newspapers. American Girl magazine/books. Cooking websites. Fashion. Animals. Sports. Cartoons. Disney Channel gossip. History. Biographies. How to draw. Books on pets. Mysteries. Realistic fiction. Goofy young romance... the tween version of book soap operas.

What's her assessed reading level? She's at a transitional level right now. If she's weak in any areas, the books she can read might be too babyish and the books that she thinks she might want to read are just a little too hard and it it takes too much effort to hold onto the story and she gets bored/frustrated/loses interest.

When my daughter was in 4th grade, she dropped low on her reading. She was in the lowest level of books in the teachers' library. It was about the time of Twilight. (Please don't judge...haha). I read the book to her and then before we moved onto New Moon, she had to read Twilight herself. Was it the best literature? Of course not. BUT the reading level wasn't too hard, she had heard the story and had already been able to put the picture in her mind. (I think we had seen the movie too so she had those visuals as well). Then really that ginormous book (for her) was an exercise in practice and building reading stamina. By the end of the year, I got her reading level back to grade level. For her, understanding the inferences and connecting what was literally said and what you were just supposed figure out from the story based on what was unsaid was (and continues to be) a challenge. When she misses that, the story just doesn't make sense and she loses interest.

Can you sit down with her maybe and have a "grown up" talk. Talk about how you hate how homework is going and you are sure she does to. Then get her to come up with solutions to solve the problem. Be open to her suggestions and tell her that you'll try them and then talk to her about how they are working in a couple weeks. (Even if you have a feeling that they won't). Try them, see how it goes. Lay off the fighting. Maybe empowering her might help. Now's the time in 4th and 5th grade to get this power struggle fixed before middle and high school!!

My thoughts are with you during this challenging time!! Good luck!!!!!

 

LOVE this thread as literacy is something I am really interested in.

Can I just say that listening to all of the crazy point and reward and evaluation systems being used in schools makes me want to barf. WHO CARES. Seriously. I roll up to that Parent-Teacher meeting in November and I'm just like, "I don't do reading logs. We don't read your leveled readers unless that's what she wants to read. We will give you the 10-20 minutes a day, but the material is her choice." No one has ever questioned my methods.

Why, why, are teachers restricting kids from reading interesting things, just because the book looks too hard? I know success stories about kids with dyslexia who were super determined to read the Hunger Games even though they'd never read a chapter book before. My own kid was considered a below-average reader in school, but I knew from home she was doing fine, because we were doing the "you read a page, I read a page" method to get through novels at bedtime. She's just a perfectionist, and would tell the teachers that she didn't know a word if she wasn't 100% certain. But if you asked her to give it a try, she'd get it right 3/4 of the time. Not testing well does not make her a bad reader. Not being a great reader shouldn't restrict access to books that might encourage a kid to become one.