dotcomkari

Any Condition Any Circumstance

Any Condition Any Circumstance
dotcomkari, Feb 17, 2018
Description:
Just Jaimee: April 16 Storyteller, Hadley Storyteller, Heartfelt, Bad Day Strips, Luka
Little Butterfly Wings: M3 Feb 2018 Add On
Pink Reptile Designs and Etc by Danyalle: Just My Type
Heather Joyce: The Alishka


Mental illness is nothing to hide… signs should be shared.. Stories should be told.. Lives would be saved.
With tears in your eyes you walked into my room in the middle of the night. “Hold me” you said. I held you in my arms and wiped away your tears. You were shivering and crying. “Mom I am scared”. You said. I knew something was wrong, very wrong, by the look in your eyes. “Mom hold me while I die…” you finally choked out. You scared the sh*t out of me. What? What? You had swallowed a bunch of pills. You wanted to die. My 14 year old baby wanted to die. I wanted to hold you tight and honestly strangle you at the same time . I felt as if I had failed as a mother.
I rushed you to the ER and held you close as they pumped your stomach. Doctors asked a million questions and I could barely answer. I blanked out the world as they strolled you away to the psych unit. This hadn’t been the first time I committed you, you had battled anxiety and depression for a while. I thought we had this under control. No amount of motherly training or advice could have prepared me for this. I just sat there in shock, numb with my heart breaking for my child.
You screamed and yelled; called me every name in the book on the phone. Sometimes as a mother you may feel as if you failed, but the truth in the matter is there is truly nothing you can do but listen. Yes, I know there are many who believe my choice to hospitalize my 14 year old daughter for mental health issues is wrong, even you my dear Bianca, but I pray one day you will understand what I did was out of unconditional love. You are in the best place for you right now. No matter how hard it is on the both of us. You are getting the help you desperately need to live the life you deserve.
    • bestcee
      Oh, Kari. Nothing but hugs and love and hope from here! I'm so sorry you are going through that right now! If I could, I'd sit on your couch and tell you It's okay. It's okay to cry and rage and be upset. It's okay to be frustrated. It's okay to not be okay with any of the situation. It's okay to be okay with what has happened. It's a lot of emotions. You haven't failed - you haven't given up on her. You keep being the best mom you can. And lots of hugs and prays from me for you both.
    • HeatherB
      Hugs Kari, I have no words for you but sending you virtual hugs. I pray that your daughter gets the help that she needs. And I hope that you have love and support at home for yourself.
    • IntenseMagic
      Kari, know I am thinking you and Bianca...praying and sending love! I hope you have many around you helping and supporting you. You are a wonderful mother and such a strong woman! One day she will understand why you had to do what you've done and she will realize the love you have for her. Hold on, sweetie. Big hugs!!
    • KimJ
      Oh, Kari. I'm so sorry for what you are both going through. I can't imagine how scary and difficult that must have been. I hope they are able to help her. You are in my thoughts. (((((hugs)))))
    • MrsGaramer
      This brought me to tears. You did an amazing thing and one day she will look back and know that. I am so glad you put this down on paper. You need to remember how strong you are in times you feel like you aren't. You saved her life and her future. Remember that! <3
    • Justagirl
      Sending you and Bianca my thoughts. Such an incredibly difficult situation to navigate. You are doing the best a parent can possibly do given the situation, braver than most. My heart goes out to you Kari and hope you are getting some support too. Hugs xo
    • bellbird
      I don't know how you put everything into words but this resonated with me ' I wanted to hold you tight and honestly strangle you at the same time' - i can't imagine the horrible position you are in but this is what i feel when logic doesn't get through to my DD when she does something extreme and starts with the names and 'you don't understand' - i know from FB, you are not alone in the position you're in and that unfortunately other parents will also go thru this and you do what you think is best and hopefully the hospital will have a team to support you as well as her. I know virtual hugs and words are not enough but i'm glad you shared this and please keep us updated!
    • JillW
      My heart hurts for you ... I certainly have no words that can help, but please know you and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers.
    • bcgal00
      I hope it lightens your heart to put the emotion on your page. Hugs and prayers sent for your daughter to get the treatment she needs.
    • KatrinaHunt13
      Kari, I have a friend that has went thru this with her daughter. It's so not easy and I heard her say some of the same things you have here. Her daughter is thriving, has her first job, in college and getting ready to apply for a specialty program in her field.

      You all are in my thoughts and prayers. THANK YOU for being so brave to share your story here. Hugs to you.
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  • Category:
    Style Challenge
    Uploaded By:
    dotcomkari
    Date:
    Feb 17, 2018
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    Comment Count:
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